When I was younger, I used to throw grasshoppers into pens full of baby chicks where they would tear the grasshoppers limb from limb. Also, rats used to live in the henhouse but they don't anymore because the hens killed all the rats.

I was about to say golf courses, but then I realized that people actually use golf courses to play golf, which is more then the average lawn is used for.

I don't understand why so many businesses are against remote work. If I was a CEO and was told that there was a way to decrease expenditures on rent and increase employee morale I would be asking "how fast can we switch?", not pushing back against it.

Illegal immigrants deserve more then 35k. Those people are getting away from the worst places imaginable with nothing to their names

Positive adjective, rual noun

Cold beer

Warm night

Red pick-up

and something about hunting or fishing thrown in there and you now have a modern country song

My parents pay like 40 dollars per month for 1Mb down and like .2 Mb up

One second, let me try to recreate Ron "I lost a presidential bid to an orangutan" Desantis's thought process:

Inhale

WE HAVE TO BAN FAKE MEAT BECAUSE ITS MADE BY LIBERAL WOKE COMMUNIST SCIENTISTS THAT WILL LACE IT WITH TRANSGENDERISM AND TURN OUR KIDS GAY OUR REAL AMERICAN KIDS SHOULD ONLY EAT REAL AMERICAN MEAT

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go disinfect my mouth

Republicans try to increase birth rates, but end up blocking IVF instead:

"It hurt itself in its ~~confusion~~ stupidity!"

I can absolutely see someone with androgen insensitivity syndrome (female with XY chromosomes) getting thrown in jail for this.

I saw one of those with TWO cab extensions yesterday, there was like 2 feet of bed and the rest was just all cab. I cannot wrap my head around the thought process of whoever built that piece of shit.

There isn't a version of LineageOS available for my phone : (

By that logic, they should ban water pipes to stop people from making water pipe shotguns