With my laptop.

It won't

I spilled a glass of scrumpy on the keyboard and a, s, and d no longer work. So I have to use a keyboard with it.

Medical Biology because I'm educated in the field. Runner up would be chemistry. Or brewing, but the only university I know of that has brewing as a degree programme is Heriot watt university and I'm not interested in moving back to Edinburgh.

Many ways. in order from first to last the ones that I remember and qualify as stupid are:

When I was very young i put a toy into a coal fire, regretted my decision and tried to retrieve the molten plastic.

I tried to carry a pan of boiling chickpeas over my shoulder and ended up spilling it down my back

I tried cycling down a steep hill while holding an ice-cream and hurt my nuts on the stem of the handlebars when I had to stop.

Went down a steep hill on a scooter and stopped on my head (this one required stitches).

Worked on a boat without a helmet and got slapped in the side of the head with a crane hook.

Tried jumping over a Wheely bin while rat-arsed and face planted on the pavement.

There are plenty more accidents that were just shitty luck, but these are the avoidable ones.

Edit: I also managed to slice open my finger with a kitchen knife while removing the seed from a mango.

Find a company you want to work for, hack into their accounts and add yourself to their payroll.

I'm aware of dead hand. It's like the Sampson option in Israel. But I'm pretty sure NATO has some form of icbm defence system. No guts no glory!

Actually he's everyone's fucking problem now.

Ok another thing people haven't really touched on is government restrictions on dangerous shit generally. I'm not just talking about guns, but also cars. When I was in the states I saw so many car accidents and bits of car on the road. That doesn't need to happen. It turns out that if you have proper driving tests and mandatory classes, people don't crash as much. Same with guns though. Owning a gun is fine if you learn how to properly use and store it.

Anons mum isn't checking her own underwear with a UV light...

Despite his severe back problems, Luigi mangione is the only one of you who has a backbone.

There is absolutely no reason to believe 2025 won't be imeasurably worse than 2024. Nothing points to this being anything less than a complete shit show. Possibly including the start of world war 3.