1000 people show up to the annual picnic. If we remove hot dogs from the market, and dont serve them at our picnic, or any picnic, ever, 40 of those 1000 people are going to get colorectal cancer.

If we do serve hot dogs at our picnic (and every other picnic), 43 people are going to get colorectal cancer at some point in their lives.

Pass the mustard.

Mariokart tournament?

#BlueShell

Don't explain the situation to anyone. All HR (actually, the payroll department) needs is a new W4, instructing them on how much to withhold from your pay for taxes.

You dont need to explain your reasoning to HR, and HR probably shouldn't know your intentions anyway.

Absolute worst case, open it up, rip out its guts and replace with an Arduino set up for HID mode.

I remember as a kid, hearing the phrase "Don't think about elephants" and elephants being the only thing I could possibly think of.

I don't know when exactly, but by 40, I had learned to shut off my inner monologue. I realized it when I came across that phrase again, and realized that I could, indeed, consciously stop thinking about elephants.

I think it could be accomplished with a MarioKart tournament.

#BlueShell

No bunker is complete without an N64 and MarioKart.

The only party worth talking about is the Guillotine Party.

Also, they do respond to outside stimuli, otherwise they’d be completely inert.

Do they actually respond? Or is it the external stimuli responding to them?

I would pose that same question to you. Why do you feel it is important for the sun to come up at 3:30 in the morning? Why would you impose that absurdity on anyone?

My pajamas:

Over here (NL) our default timezone is already one hour too early,

Then you have a completely different, localized problem, and you should fix that locally. The solution you are advocating is completely unsuitable outside of that localized area. You should change your time zone, so you don't have this problem.

The sun moves through the sky at 15 degrees per hour. An ideal timezone is one hour, or 15-degrees wide. Solar noon is at 12:00pm (Winter Time) in the middle of that timezone. At the eastern end, solar noon occurs at 11:30AM, and at the west end, 12:30. If the longest day of summer is 16 hours of daylight, the western end of this timezone experiences sunrise at 4:30AM. But, the center of the timezone experiences sunrise at 4AM, and the eastern end of that same, idealized timezone experiences sunrise is an hour earlier: 3:30AM.

Sunrise at 3:30 in the morning

This is nucking futs. Landscapers and construction workers have to wait for noise ordinances to expire at 8:00AM, 4.5 hours after sunrise, just in time for the day to start getting hot.

For coordinating the activities of daylight-oriented workers with clock-oriented workers/students, winter time is terrible. But summer time is actually very reasonable. In summer time, (with idealized timezones):

• The earliest possible sunrise (on a 16-hour summer day, east end of the time zone) is 4:30AM. (The west end of that timezone has sunrise at a more reasonable 5:30AM)

• The latest possible sunrise (on an 8-hour winter day, west end of the time zone) is 9:30AM (The east end of that timezone experiences that sunrise at a more reasonable 8:30AM)

• Earliest possible sunset is 4:30PM (east end of the zone, 8-hour winter day; with the west end experiencing it at 5:30PM)

• Latest possible sunset is 9:30PM (west end of the zone, 16-hour summer day; the east end experiences that same sunset at 8:30PM)

None of these extremes are ideal, but none of them are completely ridiculous either. Year-round Summer time is simply the best alternative to the biannual time change.