HexaSnoot

joined 2 years ago
[–] HexaSnoot@hexbear.net 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I'm safe now. So im unpacking my grief. I heard unprocessed grief can literally cause physical illness, among emotional/mental/sexual issues. I've dissociated and compartmentalized too much now.

[–] HexaSnoot@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago

Anyway, it sounds like you're already on the right track with choosing self love over anger though. I spent a lot of time being angry when I was younger and it gets you nowhere.

Thank you. I appreciate the validation.

[–] HexaSnoot@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago

They've been gone for years. I'm just starting to feel my grief about the hurt. I only just realized anger only makes me relive them being here so I'm trying to leave that in my past amd work on my grief.

[–] HexaSnoot@hexbear.net 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (4 children)

Adult. A shitty roommate moved out.

~~TW: SI attempt(no method mentioned), SA~~ I tried to attempt SI. Someone made ex roommate hide my method of choice in her room to keep it away from me. Less than an hour later, she came out and the first thing she said was "You're almost X-years old, and you're acting like THIS?"

She also heard me repeatedly sob about having been SA'd.

She later told us that she can hear everything we say when her door is closed. (After she moved out we found out even if you yell at the top of your lungs, you can't hear the words from ex roomates old room unless you press your ear to the door.) She later said to my boyfriend in front of me "Mike Tyson is a removed and I like him." Adding since he admitted to rping she was fine with the fact he's aremoved*." She was always giving edgy offensive takes.

That was in response to us loudly talking for a month about how disgusting it is that she's a big fan of a Nazi even while her romantic partner Jewish. After coming out to say she chose to stop listening to the Nazi(without any apologizing) she switched right to her love for Mike Tyson.

Months later a pigeon landed close to our windows and coo'd. When we later told her about it, her first response was gloating about Mike Tyson and how much she loves him for keeping pigeons.

 

(Same details as my last post, but with a different question in the title because getting responses about how people get through bullying was the point. Last title is too specific.)


I'm curious to know even if your way isn't what I'm trying.

It's awful to get dehumanized when you're the most down.

I have found that my way through this will be grief instead of anger. Anger is okay, but it can be left at the point of my initial response. Grief is a way of loving, and I am trying to love myself through this hurt. I want to explore this hurt. But I'm not really sure how.

Thankfully the main person I have in mind while writing this is gone from my life, so I don't need to hold onto anger so much.

 

I'm curious to know even if your way isn't what I'm trying.

It's awful I got kicked when I was most down by someone who obessively pretended they had respect for my ethnicity.

I have found that my way through this will be grief instead of anger. Anger is okay, but it can be left at the point of my initial response. Grief is a way of loving, and I am trying to love myself through this hurt. I want to explore this hurt. But I'm not really sure how.

[–] HexaSnoot@hexbear.net 1 points 1 week ago

What's this supposed to be?

[–] HexaSnoot@hexbear.net 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How is that a bomberman?

I personally see a metal helmet with an eyeslit to see out of, and a flying tassel on top of the head.

[–] HexaSnoot@hexbear.net 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I get what you mean. For me it's a fairly private soul searching and an aid in my spirituality. Understanding more about what an all loving world needs to exist. It helps me think about how people should be treated more kindly in certain ways. I'd always felt people are completely worthy in general, and now I think I'm also worthy in ways I hadn't known. I'm more perceptive to self worth.

[–] HexaSnoot@hexbear.net 1 points 1 week ago
[–] HexaSnoot@hexbear.net 3 points 1 week ago (3 children)

What flavor is it?

[–] HexaSnoot@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I recently went to get a new state ID because mine old one had expired, and they gave me the option of choosing male/female/nonbinary. Is this thing you're speaking of happening when you go back to change it?

I sadly didn't say I'm nonbinary because of fear of mistreatment.

 

I think this tends to happen when people move away from their homeland and raise their kids elsewhere. Especially if your parents are committed to Americanizing. I'm not sure how else to understand them not teaching me so much basic stuff about the biggest holidays of my culture. Like New Years related things, for example. It makes me sad that I celebrated half of only some holidays.

Honestly maybe it's because they were poor. I will ask them about this. Poverty probably changed what traditions they practiced.

 

Okay I feel so stupid, I only just realized feminine people wear scarves over their heads because it's hot where their place of origin is. I knew that about religious people, but I didnt know why women in India and parts of Africa do. Someone please help me spot other common patterns in terms of clothing. Even culture in general, like some desert cultures discouraging eating shellfish because it spoils too easily in the heat.

16
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by HexaSnoot@hexbear.net to c/main@hexbear.net
 

Theory can give me out of control feelings of excitement, and that's really bad for me. I've been mostly abstaining for years after reading a few articles. Even with things more psychology related, like Will to Change by Bell Hooks, I try but cannot deal with the raw feelings.

Connecting the dots is so exciting it can be overwhelming. Reading theory makes me want to go around and tell everyone mindblowing facts. Who else has difficulty containing their excitement in a way that can get out of control? How do you calm down? It'd be so good if I could read and chill.

 

Apparently the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines only give you immunity for about 6 months. I've gone over a year before without a new shot.

 

I have long covid from the single time I've ever had covid. I'm not a singer or a dancer, but if I got all the right training, I think my long covid symptoms limits my ability to physically endure performing a concert. These superstars are constantly sharing air with thousands of people in single nights. In airports, at shows, dance practice, parties, meetings. Are they hiding the news? Do they just view it as the flu and don't think it's worth reporting? What's happening?

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