Apocalypteroid

But I do execute people using anti-aircraft guns

You're welcome, random internet cake. Hope next week gets better for you. xx

Fun story: I used to live in London and get stuff from a guy known as Scottish Andy. He would spend his summers dealing whatever you wanted, his winters he spent in Thailand at Muy Thai kickboxing camps. He had a wix site with passwords like "hesnotthemessiah", where you could find his menu, and he sold literally anything you can think of.

To pick up, you'd have to text him your order and he'd reply with a time and location of a bus stop in the Swiss Cottage area of NW London. So, you'd rock up to this bus stop and wait. And slowly more and more punters would show up until there was a group of about 20 ne'er-do-wells. He was very keen that it look casual despite the fact that you'd probably be waiting there for the best part of an hour or two and a dozen buses would come and stop and no one would get on. So you'd strike up a conversation with one of the other people there. I remember once chatting to a girl dressed as a cybergoth fairy complete with DMs and rainbow wings, so completely normal and not conspicuous at all.

After a while he'd rock up and then he'd lead you round one of the most affluent areas of London pointing at all the big townhouses as if it was some sort of walking tour for extras from a soap opera. He'd call the names from a little pocket book, written in a code of his own invention, and you'd sidle up to him, cash hidden in a crisp packet or empty fag box and hand it over. Then, without checking the money, he'd reach into his bag and produce a similar bit of future litter and hand it to you with a smile and thanks. After which you'd split off from the group and dissappear back under the rock you crawled out of, with your illicit goods in hand. How the fuck he kept track of all the shit he sold I will never quite understand. It was always the exact weight, always a fucking great price.

Last I heard he'd been nicked but that was probably a decade ago now. I do wonder if he's back doing his tours again, or kicking people's heads in down in SE Asia. If you're reading this Andy: hello you mad bastard.

I'm sorry. Everyone knows that Trump is an absolute cunt but a single frame with his eyes closed does not prove he's asleep. There was a similar claim a few weeks back but if actually go and watch the video he literally has his eyes shut for two seconds. Let's actually focus on the shit he's doing, the shit he's done rather than this low quality propaganda. RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES.

As a UK citizen I am sorely tempted to start burning down data centres.

Thar $150m must have really stung that multi-billion dollar mining operation.

Yeh, I was pretty high in the 90s too

The EU can kiss my loophole

One of my friends recently worked as a costumier on The Outlaws. Apparently Walken is the biggest coke fiend she's ever met and would constantly have to be told to blow his nose before a shot.

I'd sing With or Without You

Don't use tiktok?

We had this in the UK about 20!years ago. It got banned pretty quick.