Ask UK

In the company of my family, I can only find some small comfort in the evident fact that I protect them by being so fucking delicious that the little flying bastards are gagging for a piece of me and so ignore them. And no, I am not prepared to be a ritual sacrifice for you and yours as well. Fuck, I hate the midges.

Whose hair is that?

You're already doing it. They can't get in the tent. Just stay in the tent. If you didn't stake the tent down, you should be able to move around the area by hopping in the tent.

Also: You willingly are camping in an area known as Loch Latrine? Does it smell like it sounds? 🤭

Use Smidge. It's the best repellant.

Also, get some citronella. You can get it as oil (for burning), as tealights, as rope (also for burning), as incense... It does the trick in Northumberland, though I'm not so sure about Loch Latrine. Those midges might be a bit tougher.

Smidge! Buy smidge. It works really well against a variety of biting things.

I always get eaten alive, luckily my antihistamines stop most bites punching through (but when they do... Oh boy!). I always find the only solution is insect repellent.

I've not tried it myself but when researching stuff like this (mostly for my wife, she gets targeted) I saw a lot of people raving about these chemical disperser devices from Thermacells. They're supposedly safe and pretty eco-friendly though personally I'm still having troubles believing that when talking about a device that clears all insects in a 15m radius within a few minutes and lasts for hours.

goddamn...