this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2024
580 points (99.0% liked)

The Onion

4511 readers
1231 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

In a completely unsurprising story out of Manhattan, NY, the words “money isn’t everything” were just spoken at brunch by someone who, conveniently, has lots of it.

all 28 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] halfstep@lemmy.world 57 points 5 months ago (3 children)

“Having money’s not everything, not having it is."

[–] Drusas@kbin.run 14 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I disagree even with this, though I know it's a common sentiment/expression.

For the first couple of decades of my life, I had little to no to negative money, depending on when we're talking about. Not having money sure was everything.

Since then, I have slowly but steadily improved my financial status. I guess I might be middle class now, but what that means is different to everybody. Anyway, now, I can afford to pay someone to come help me with housekeeping a couple of times a month. I'm also disabled and can't handle it myself. So once again, money is everything.

Even if I reached a point where I was so wealthy that money didn't mean anything, it would still be everything because I would still need it to be paying all of the people who would be helping me.

[–] Jolteon@lemmy.zip 8 points 5 months ago

Yep, there's a certain threshold of money above which has little (but some) bearing on happiness. That threshold is fairly low in the Grand Scheme of things, but if you are below it, money absolutely will buy a certain level of happiness up to that point.

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

Whether you broke or rich, you gotta get...that.

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 29 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Money is necessary, but not sufficient

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 22 points 5 months ago

I got 99 problems, and money would solve 95

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 20 points 5 months ago

"They say money cant buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it!" - Weird Al

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's a luxury to be able to afford to be poor.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

Being homeless and poor was the most expensive time of my life.

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 14 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I mean, if I wanted to be charitable about this, a person who has a lot of money is exactly the kind of person to know that money isn't everything, because they would presumably have the experience of still having problems or wants or still being unhappy sometimes even in spite of their money. That isn't to say that money doesn't mean a lot of things even if not everything though, or that someone telling someone without enough money to not require a job to live and spend frivolously to not worry about money isn't out of touch for not understanding that some of the things that money can buy are essentials required to live one's life in the first place.

[–] sunbeam60@lemmy.one 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Through my job I’ve knows two billionaires; one inherited it all through a business his father built, the other acquired it all through a business he built.

Neither seemed any happier than you or me; they travelled in more luxury, for sure, and their clothes cost a bit more; they of course also had multiple houses, which they couldn’t really use at the same time and one of them had an enormous yacht and private jets (plural). It all looked very fancy but I don’t know that their happiness increased commensurately.

I think once you have a roof over your head, food on the table and don’t have to worry about what the next year or two looks like, you’re 97% there. The last 3% is influenced by money, but not determined by it.

[–] SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social 5 points 5 months ago

I agree, I see the concept that the headline means to convey, but the author missed the mark. The better version would be: 'Money Isn't Important,' Says Person Who Has It.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 5 months ago

Money isn't everything, but we live in a society where you need it to get anything.

Money doesn't buy happiness, but good fucking luck being happy when people will merrily let you starve if you don't give them money.

Now, what does buy happiness and is basically everything? Other people, social interaction, having support networks.
Knowing everyone in your neighbourhood and supporting each other if you need help is an extremely cheap way to give each other a baseline of happiness and make life feel more whole.

[–] Drusas@kbin.run 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Money is everything even to those who think it's not. Because our capitalist system and culture with basically no safety nets here in the US is all about money.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah because money isnt everything but its like saying water isnt everything to an african kid.

[–] And009@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 5 months ago

Context matters. It might not be everything, but still be the most important one.

[–] PriorityMotif@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, no. If I could afford to have someone come clean my house, mow my lawn, buy a new car every few years, fly first class to places I want to visit/take vacations, have good health insurance that isn't tied to employment I would be happy as shit. I constantly have to worry about silly shit because I can't afford not to. It creates a lot of stress as I'm missing out on other things. It's taking a huge toll on my overall health.

[–] Ludz@lemmy.ml 5 points 5 months ago

Could be found in nottheonion too ? ... "Money can't buy happiness, especially for those who don't have any. " - Coluche

[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 5 points 5 months ago

"Money isn't everything. I know because I have money, and I have everything." - An American Tail

[–] ogmios@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Only reason people even need money is because we actively destroy the spaces we would need to live on the land without it.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 16 points 5 months ago (2 children)

No person is wholly self-sufficient. Every person depends on the efforts of other people to live, survive, and thrive. Those efforts have value, and so we exchange value to other people for what we cannot supply for ourselves.

Money is a fantastic way to do that. Money is what we all agree represents value.

[–] sunbeam60@lemmy.one 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That’s a heretic opinion here on Lemmy.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 1 points 5 months ago

Good thing I'm not on Lemmy.

[–] ogmios@sh.itjust.works 0 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Money is what we all agree represents value

Well, that's what it's supposed to be, but in today's digital world it is increasingly becoming only what a small handful of people agree represents value.

[–] OpenStars@discuss.online 9 points 5 months ago

I think you meant to say that it is CONTROLLED by a small minority of people; however it must be ACCEPTED by the majority or else it has no value at all.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 4 points 5 months ago

That doesn't even make any sense.

[–] SomeoneSomewhere@lemmy.nz 5 points 5 months ago

Ehh. Plenty of places you can go buy land and try, but you need a decent population mass (i.e. commune) to actually be somewhat self sufficient. Without money, you're not going to be buying any tools, construction materials or any other supplies.

Medical treatment also ends up being questionable - if you're in the US, you probably get nothing unless you're about to die. If you're elsewhere, other people's taxes pay for it...