this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2023
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Memes

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[–] spauldo@lemmy.ml 87 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

I'm struggling to think of any situation where a 2yo would come in contact with a hippopotamus that doesn't involve criminal levels of negligence.

[–] qisope@lemmy.world 47 points 2 years ago

you can't keep track of where every hippopotamus is all the time. sometimes you're just going about your day and there one is, swallowing your kid.

[–] loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

He was just playing by himself near his home. And his home was near a lake in Uganda . https://nypost.com/2022/12/15/hippo-swallows-spits-out-2-year-old-boy-in-uganda/

[–] spauldo@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago

I'm not sure I'd let my kid play outside unsupervised if my yard was occasionally visited by hippos.

[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

Somebody trying to make Harambe 2 is my only guess

[–] Hank@kbin.social 36 points 2 years ago (2 children)

OPs mom swallows billions of -9 months old children.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

To be fair, your mom does the same

[–] Hank@kbin.social 13 points 2 years ago

I have no idea what my parents are up to in the bedroom but I hope they're having fun.

[–] AbsolutelyNotCats 12 points 2 years ago (4 children)
[–] Texas_Hangover@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Lmao, she forgot to come up for air.

[–] AbsolutelyNotCats 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No, she actually died in a car crash

[–] craftyindividual@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

Damn. Hope it was quick and painless :( Mine got cancer.

[–] moody@lemmings.world 4 points 2 years ago

She choked on a 2 year old

[–] OrangeXarot@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 years ago

skill issue

Congratulations!

[–] Hank@kbin.social -1 points 2 years ago

That sucked.

[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 2 years ago

Talk about a high constitution and charisma score

Gets eaten

Rolls con save

Critical success

"It would appear as if you ate me, spit me out or I'll unleash my true power"

Rolls bluff

Critical success

"So sorry for the inconvenience, you have a wonderful day."

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

shouldn't name your kid Jonah

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 years ago

What did the kid do to look so delicious?

[–] rustyricotta@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 years ago

Oh no, did they kill the hippo? If they did, this Harambe 2 would completely seal the fate of humanity.