You need to just see this as something that everyone has to deal with. You can feel your feelings still do what you need to do. Ignoring your feelings doesn't make you any more of a man.
this post was submitted on 29 Feb 2024
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Get prehistoric, go full barbarian, hulk it out, become psychosocial.
I don't remember the details but there was an Internet story about a dude who'd say "man up" and people explained why that was a problem and he updated to "fortify". And I really like that, because it kinda suggests also getting help where you need it to build up your defenses in order to face the thing you need to face.
"We choose to do things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard."
"If it hurts, it means that it grows"
Come hang out in !hopeposting@lemmy.world
Time to shine? There's always old mate at work who has a good one-liner. "The shit jobs are the good jobs" (everyone knows it's a rubbish job so they'll cut you some slack) "Sometimes your the fuckor & sometime your the fuckee" "Weeeel, that's a shitter" "Maybe kick this one back to the brains trust" And so on
"Machines are for breaking & plans are for changing"
Stoicism
When someone says “Somebody should….”
Remind them we’re all somebody.
It's weird that I was thinking about this just yesterday. I concluded there isn't much good way to make it not sound like an insult, but you could make it less about gender.
Things like "Don't be a baby." Or "Don't be a scaredy cat." Because it's often just fear holding someone back that elicits these phrases, and I do feel that encouraging people to push past fears is a good thing overall. There just aren't any established phrases I could think of that would work the same way without also making the one saying it seem cold.
I tend to think of it like a personal trainer, "push, you got this, one more rep". More positive and gender neutral.
My usual is: Can't stop, won't stop!
Reminds me of a short YouTube recommended to me here. In the second part, it talks about a guy who just tells himself “FORTIFY!!” As a similar vein, it’s pretty funny.
"Grow up".
Isn't this just an insult?
It is, but "man up" not only insults that person but also half the people on the planet.
There is something of a line between self-care and self-coddling. This is an example of active self care. Sometimes feeling better is a matter of building resistance to the desire to administer convenient but less enduring instant self gratification.
Maybe conceive of it as refusing to spoil your inner child who operates emotionally and not logically?
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"You'll feel better once you go through" IMO fits rather well what OP is asking for. Specially for self-advice.
[mini-rant] People, stop assuming random orthogonal shit into the left-right axis. Seriously.
I can get why "man up" would be typically right-winger due to the sex-based stereotypes. ("Rather curiously" not mentioned by anyone here, right?) However, doing it directly with the "fuck your feelings" is stupid. [/mini-rant]
I'm confused what you mean by your mini-rant. Are you asserting that "fuck your feelings" and "man up" are not right wing coded, but equally likely to come from a leftist? I think theoretically that's maybe true but anecdotally that language does tend to be used by the right and not so much by the left, in my experience
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GSD - Get Shit Done
I try to think about how happy and content Future-me will be once the job is done. I confirm the accuracy of this thought to myself by thinking back to how it was in the past when I completed some task that was difficult for me. So I think of an experience where I realized in hindsight that it wasn't actually that bad and that I was worrying for nothing that I might somehow fail. And even with things that ultimately didn't go well, I can still reassure future-me that there was no need to make a big deal out of it, because even my failures have lost their horror over time; for example, embarrassing moments at school, awkward dates or bad presentations at work. All these things are just water under the bridge or at best even funny when I think back on them today - and that's how it will be in the future: as soon as the job is done, I'll be alright, regardless of whether I succeed or not.
I think the fuck your feelings is part of its effectivness its a reminder they dont matter in the face of the problem and you must work past them. The whole arrogent right wing thing well do u want to change your language to accomodate such people changing what words mean?
bro down, dude