vampirsm
this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2024
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I'll be locked up for massacring an army of undead, monkeys, dragons, elementals, and more - all to the thrumming beat of my own heart.
Working with terrorists to blow up the main sources of power for the worlds largest city.
Animal Homicide (Hundreds of cases) and Cockfighting
Poaching various wildlife and crafting dangerous weapons out of thier remains. Also possibly B&E, theft, & manslaughter, depending on what sort of lawyers those bandits have.
Catching them all.
Use of all the drugs, soliciting prostitutes, & weapons charge for everything from machineguns to nuclear weapons.
I'm not getting arrested. The cops will be converted to my religion, and I'll make them have sex in tents to create eggs.
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To be honest, I'm not sure, maybe trespassing or maybe tax evasion if the player is a citizen of some country?
Doing some dodgy PMC incursions into a chaotic ex-Russian territory feels a bit too close to a real life situation. So I guess I'm getting arrested for looting.
Bullying masked monkeys killsquads.
Those pearls are mine, motherfuckers.
Title
Rain World
Trying to prevent fires in Shoshone.
Delivering packages, and running away from creeps trying to steal my packages.
Shooting small Mancunians in the face with an over-powered stapler.
War crimes! (Battlefield 1)
It wasn't me! It was an unfortunate manure explosion!
Pushing a goblin off a roof.
Building colourful skyscrapers next to each other in a tiny city grid, until they combine and fly into the sky. I dunno, reverse 9/11?
Hang gliding into a party of monsters and ruining their day with my "1337 aer1al 4rch3ry 5k1llz"
Probably something among the lines of water runoff and cleaning chemicals in said water (Powerwashing Simulator)