Test clear sells products that I've been told work really well. You'll need to figure out what kind of test you'll have to do, because that effects the plan a lot.
this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
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UPDATE: Thank you all for the advice, I really appreciate all of it. With that being said, we're out of the woods comrades :)
Firstly, I was wrong about them having to watch you piss. It turns out that I got that info from a panicked google search and I later called up the hospital to clarify this, they said that they would only need to watch me if I refused to provide a sample, or if it looks like the sample I provided had been contaminated. This was my first good news, as I saw this as a good opportunity to revisit Operation Pissjar™ where I bring in a jar of my clean friend's piss.
After that though, I found out that they're actually using the XCup 4 panel 4045 test, which, as it turns out, does not actually test for cannabis. It instead tests for amphetamines, cocaine, opiates, and PCP. If it were a 5 panel test, I would have needed to worry about cannabis, but it's not, so I'm fine. I am a little bit peeved, though, as the offer letter my job sent specifically said they'd be testing for weed, and every cursory google search I made said that 4 panel tests look for weed, but the specific one that they're using apparently doesn't.
So apologies for the panic, but thank you all again for the advice. Fuck drug tests, fuck sobriety as a hiring requirement, fuck America.
good to hear this! i was curious if testing companies were starting to toss cannabis from the NIDA-5 since at this point unless it's DOT or fed seems pointless to test for
If this isn't a critical job where inspectors will stare at you as piss flows out your body, just ask someone to piss and put it in a big or small container and pour it into whatever container you're giving to the testers. I really don't think you need to do all that extra stuff with putting it in some contraption in your pants. You'll need it to be warm, but just put it in a IV bag or something so it'll fit in your back pocket or in your underwear lol.
Some people are suggesting ordering fake piss, but it might not come on time. In my experience, it'll take a whole day to process the order, one day to put it on a truck or plane, THEN x days to get it delivered to you. So two day shipping may really be 4 day shipping. Plus I don't know what they're testing, but if fake piss is just colored tap water with piss scent, then it'll probably not show up as piss in results.