So I landed a really nice job with a really cool company and they plan on hiring me this March, but before they can do that I need to pass a drug test. My manager personally doesn't care whether or not I smoke weed but I live in a state where weed is illegal, and the company does care and would bar me from hiring if I were to fail a drug test.

I was stupid and smoked a fuck ton of weed last Sunday (before I knew that A; I need to take a drug test in the first place, and B; that weed can remain present in urine for up to (and possibly over) 30 days in frequent smokers (which I am)). This would originally have been fine if it weren't for the fact that after agreeing to the background check, I would be scheduled for a drug test by the 13th (within 4 days). So my original plan to just drink a shit ton of water to flush myself out within a month wouldn't work.

I also had a plan to sneak in a jar of my sober friend's pee but then I learned that you're actually required to pee in front of the observer so that plan wouldn't work either.

So basically I'm fucked and I don't know what to do :( My future pretty much depends on this job and I don't know what I would do if I were to fuck this opportunity up. What do I do?

Also, idk how relevant this is but I'm 5'9" (~175 cm), 160 lbs (~72.6 kg), AMAB, and very infrequently exercise. I also have POTS so I sweat frequently and have poor water retention.

like one of the only (bullshit) arguments the Zionists have is that opposition to Israel equates to antisemitism (not true), but from what i understand, the "Semitic family" includes both Jews and Arabs, but i am potentially very wrong about this.

also i guess even if it is true, it's not a very good "gotcha" since it misses the point and truth doesn't matter to genocidal swine

i have a question that is hard to google. how does one acquire a band? like i got songs, i got hella songs, and i think that i can sing adequately (i sang in front of my partner and they think that i sound very good :)), i just have no ability to play guitar/bass/drums, let alone at the same time, so where do i find 2-4 people in my area who know how to play instruments and are ideologically compatible with myself??? on top of that, these people would also need to like/enjoy the music that i wanna put out and want to specifically play my songs, which i don't know how big of an ask that is??? any assistance is welcomed.

it sucks that we live in a timeline where the sentence, "I swear to fucking god if the Israeli apartheid state is the reason why there's cocomelon in my recommended, I'm going to war, I'm strapping the fuck up" is something I can find myself saying, unironically

on that note, if anyone can advise me on how to fix my sidebar, that would be appreciated

Double checked the number too lol

I don't know anything please don't hurt me.

To preface, I don't know shit about fuck, but my interpretation of Trotsky is that he was next in line to head the ussr after Lenin and Stalin hated him and pushed a censorship campaign and removed him from pictures and shit and banished him and then sent someone to pickaxe his face.

From what I know, he had criticisms of the ussr from the left and was more ML than Stalin and was more "pro-worker/citizen," but I very VERY much could be talking out of my ass and was just fed propaganda, which please correct me if so.