Transfem

Hey, I don't log in to comment often but I have something things to say!

The big thing is, there's no right or wrong way to be trans. It's not a checklist or a diagnosis from a bunch of symptoms, it's you deciding you want to be/are a different gender. That's it! Which brings me to the next big thing--you don't need to hate your body to be trans! The most exposure people generally have to trans people in pop culture almost always involves the "I was born in the wrong body!" trope and, while that's definitely many people's experiences, it's not everyones! Physical dysphoria isn't a requirement for being trans! Plenty of people don't really have physical dysphoria in that sense but just don't really experience gender euphoria from presenting as their gender assigned at birth. That was really the case for me.

I encourage you to take your time, explore a bit, and figure it out! It aounds like you're pretty open minded towards yourself, so that's a good head start! Here's a link to the gender dysphoria bible, it does a great job of talking about a bunch of different ways dysphoria manifests which was what really made me realize it. https://genderdysphoria.fyi/

If you want to try dressing fem (even just at home), thrift stores are a great place to start, stuff is cheap and there's no judgement.

So yeah, experiment and keep the goal of being yourself for you in mind!

You be a girl part-time if you want, gender is fake

I know plenty of cis Linux admins, you are valid!

That’s cool. Dreams like that always gave me gender euphoria and were my only way of experiencing that. Lucid dreams where I was myself, a girl, that was really a highlight. I’d be so dejected when I woke up and would try really hard to get the dream back.

(I was never a “guy” otherwise in dreams; they were more abstract or I didn’t really even have a body).

That said, I'm happy in my body as a man and don't feel the need to change (especially not permanently), but then again I've spent enough time hanging out on Lemmy to know that those are the famous last words of the past selves of many trans people.

For what it's worth (cis guy here, similarly happy in my body), you're subject to a massive sampling and survivorship bias on Lemmy – not just because trans people are overrepresented here from the general population, and not just because few people talking about questioning their gender identity are going to write a story like you did to report "actually just fine", but because among those few who do, pretty much nobody is going to follow up years later with "actually still just fine lol".

I enjoyed and appreciated reading about your experience.

Just like the Republicans predicted, Democrats are going to make everyone trans. /s CIS male ally, dumb joke.

one of US! one of US!

I had a dream years before I realized I was trans where I was a little girl, which, in hindsight, was a pretty obvious sign for me that I missed. Same deal there that it was me but a girl, which was weird to wake up from. I've had a fair number of dreams over the years like that which stuck around in my head for a few weeks with no repeats.

I was also happy as a man, but in hindsight, I was pretty unhappy in general, and I never linked that to my gender, so content is a lot better a word to describe how I felt about being a man, but I can only say that with the clarity of hindsight.

I will say that any part of transitioning that would be permanent would be a long time after you started, so you would know if it was for you by then. Gender is made up so do whatever makes you happy 😊

of course. we understand. you're right, this is a good place to share this. 💜

much love to you too :3

That's some sign of possibilities. On itself, may not be enough, things happens, dreams mixes realities and perspectives. But that still was a sign, that it may be worthy checking, if You had some other moments in life, that could push You to some decisions? Anything from rpg character, fav toy as kid, common day clothes. If You find more, that may be beginning of big adventure...

Aye, could be beginning of big adventure... to where? genders is a big spectrum. swapping between both binary genders is a thing, but there may be lot other possibilities, agender, nonbinary, both 2spirit, fluid changes per a given moment.

GLHF on finding own gender, finding self.