this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2026
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Mental Health

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[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Faulty colon, expect gas leaks.

[–] B1tch_Pudding@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 day ago

"Waking times fluctuate. Check site for operating hours"

[–] charonn0@startrek.website 5 points 1 day ago

For entertainment purposes only

[–] creed10@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

WARNING: Prone to spilling things

[–] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

POOR IMPULSE CONTROL

Tattooed in black across my forehead

[–] Klear@piefed.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Any message tattooed in black across a forehead says "poor impulse control"

[–] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Not if the tattoo was put there by The State as a form of punishment and/or warning for people in my general vicinity!

This isn’t my original idea, it’s stolen from Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson.

[–] death_to_carrots@feddit.org 4 points 1 day ago

"Contains salt"

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 4 points 1 day ago
[–] Epp@lemmus.org 4 points 1 day ago

"Warning: will understand any muttering under your breath, discern thoughts based on facial expressions plus body language, anticipate what you will say before you can finish saying it, and the only thing preventing them from finishing your sentences before you do is they've learned that it's rude. Hates phone calls because it makes them feel blind."

[–] NoxAstrum@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago

Stay back nine meters, risk of amputation.

[–] minty@aussie.zone 3 points 1 day ago

Please don't yell at me. Will cry

[–] WhatsHerBucket@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

I do my own stunts and It's safe to assume I have no clue what I'm doing