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Source: https://mastodon.social/@warandpeas/117347139169589960
transcript
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: An angel in heaven reports to God on the clouds. "Heavenly Father, the humans have started being intimate for fun." Panel 2: "They've also started screaming your name when they climax." Panel 3: God considers. "Hmm... Not gonna lie..." Panel 4: God admits, "It does turn me on a bit."
He made man in his image. So it would be only logical to conclude God has a mighty godlike penis. And since humans stroke their penis all the time, it's natural to conclude God would also do such a thing. After all, what use is a penis if it's not properly worked on a regular basis?
Now the thing we really need to question if God would be able to climax. I'd argue it wouldn't be much of a god if he couldn't do so. All powerful must mean fully functional in every sense of the word.
When a man sprays his splooge all over the keyboard, we can only assume this is a pale imitation of what the divine is able to muster. Certainly his splooge is like a tsunami crashing over waves, being able to move mountains with a single squirt.
I do wonder if we were to examine the holy cum, what would we find? Does God have DNA? Would we find small Jesus like seed? What sort of power would a single divine spermatozoid have? Would it hold all knowledge? Would it be able to communicate somehow? Could the truths of the universe be exposed through these beings?
In this grant proposal I'll outline my 8 step plan to locate God's sperm and use it to further the knowledge of the universe for all mankind. I predict huge advancements in terms of physics, cosmology, biology and even spirituality. If you will turn the handout to page 87 you'll see a clearly defined graph of possible advancements plotted against probability of my research being able to achieve these goals.
π΅Zankoku na tenshi no you ni
π΅Shounen yo shinwa ni nare!
If god is reflected in all of us, then definitionally he has every kink known to man.
Well, akshually, God would have an average penis by definition, wouldn't he? Or she.
I think there's a movie about this.
Well he did make us in his image.
Looks like the angel was hitting about half-chub in the last panel too
Oh God..
Surprisingly, team sports.
Are there bumholes in the sky?
Oh tell me why
Are the bumholes way up high.
Is that the triforce!?
It's an eye in a triangle. I forget the origin of the iconography though.
So what you're saying is that it still could be the triforce?
Thats illuminati.
Better than sitting in the dark.
If you squint hard enough...
Oh uh, I mean no, ~~we~~ they don't exist!
Looks more like Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls to me. But I can dig it as the triforce.
No no no no! Not... all by himself...
Who/what did this god fuck to make stuff? Because most polytheistic pantheons are just full of creation fucking.