this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2026
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total letdown today (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 4 days ago by energycapsule@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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My hrt appointment did not work out. Yesterday I did it online and the therapist was great. She was an ally, said I wanted hrt, and she set me up to see another girl who was a psychiatrist for today. Total stark difference in attitude. She tried to get 50 questions out of me and in the end I'm like I'm not telling you shit if you aren't even going to prescribe me hrt. Then she clapped her hand to the beat of "no one here prescribes hrt" and I'm like okay then I guess we're done here. I hung up then messaged the original girl about it and she was like "yeah it's not going to work out here". So I'm pretty sad. I almost had something only to be taken away in the end. I can't believe an establishment would hype me up only to pull the rug out under trans people. If we want hrt to better ourselves, medical professionals have to take us seriously. At least I did this online and didn't have to embarrass myself in an office. I feel so stupid but at least I tried to help myself. Please share your thoughts and head pats I'm too depressed to know where to go from here but I'm learning.

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[โ€“] brookedSmile@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

This is weird? This is eerily similar to "alternative" family planning places (like planned parenthood but not) that only exist to steer women away from abortion. Ive never heard of this happening with trans stuff. I dont know where you are but i urge you to get a second opinion/doctor/appt whatever. If it doesnt work out then diy is always an option

Im so so sorry it didnt work out girly that really fucking sucks ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Edit: ima DM you, might have some help for you

Edit edit: you said establishment in your post, idk if its allowed here but if it were me i would name and shame this place to keep others from going thru the same. Youre not obligated to, but i am curious the name of this "establishment"

Also i sent that dm, but my app is weird and glitchy now (might have to switch) so if you didnt get it then DM me and ill resend it. Cause right now i cant even find the message i sent you, but i dont wanna spam you either soooo ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

[โ€“] Estiar@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This absolutely exists. It's a form of conversion therapy like "gender exploratory therapy". Basically what these clinics try to do is figure out the root of why somebody is trans and deal with that instead of actually giving somebody real treatment. These sorts of "treatments" are endorsed by groups like the Society of Evidence Based Gender Medicine (SEGM) and aren't real treatments

[โ€“] brookedSmile@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

Gross ๐Ÿคฎ

[โ€“] energycapsule@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 days ago (2 children)

How the hell do you dm here?! I didn't think lemmy had that!

[โ€“] brookedSmile@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

On the app i use you go to someones profile and click the 3dot menu, then click send message. Theres also a messages section of my inbox. โค๏ธ

Also i checked, the message exists, i do hope you find it lol

[โ€“] brookedSmile@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

Alternatively, you can look me up on signal, brookedSmile.91, ping me and i can resend my message there โค๏ธ

[โ€“] TheGingerNut@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 days ago

Me: My HRT provider is a bunch of fucking vampires, I hate them, they're so expensive. I should be able to just ask my GP for hormones and then pick them up from the pharmacy the next day. Fuck them.

(I'm sorry what happened when you tried to go get hormones? )

Also me: I love my HRT provider. They're so compassionate and understanding. I didn't even get gatekept when I told them I was autistic. Glory be to the vampires, take all my blood, I wasn't using it for anything important!

[โ€“] doubtingtammy@lemmy.ml 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Ugh that sucks soo much. I see another comment mentioning planned parenthood gave you some hope, which it should! PP follow the "informed consent" model of HRT. That's where as long as you are aware of the effects/risks of HRT, they will prescribe it for you. No therapy or psychs or diagnoses needed (although the HRT did make it easier for me to pursue those other treatments, too). If you're in the US or canada, here's a map of informed consent providers https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/erins-informed-consent-hrt-map-how

[โ€“] Blibly@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

That really sucks. If you haven't already I highly recommend at least looking into DIY as a possibility. It sucks that we have to even consider things like that but we face a lot of casual discrimination and it's unfortunately necessary. Never let them stand in your way if you know what you need.

[โ€“] RumorsOfLove@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 4 days ago (3 children)

In some places, Planned Parenthood offers a decent experienc. ;แ—ช

[โ€“] applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 4 days ago

thats where i ended up going. waited months for a referral to an endo, then was told they wouldnt even call me back to schedule for 2 more. went to planned parenthood and picked up my prescription from the pharmacy same day. planned parenthood is great.

[โ€“] RumorsOfLove@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 4 days ago

as for the system, eventually it will be แ—ชeposed. for now we live around it

[โ€“] energycapsule@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Hmmmm I think I might have a place in mind! Thank you :3 <3

[โ€“] Nikki@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 4 days ago

i can confirm planned parenthood has been great to me!

[โ€“] irotsoma@piefed.blahaj.zone 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Not sure where you live, but why do you need a psychiatrist to prescribe it? My general practitioner does it for me and as far as specialists it seems like it's more of an endocrinologist's specialty to handle. If the psych visit is just a matter of getting past gatekeeping like older WPATH recommendations that some places take as "requirements" because they don't, or pretend not to, understand. Then isn't the therapist's signoff enough based on the most recent few versions of WPATH guidelines, and then you could see someone with experience with trans people?

That said, I know some countries and/or insurance companies require more.

[โ€“] MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

That's what I was thinking. I saw a therapist for a year, and while neither he nor a psychiatrist could actually prescribe my hormones, they were instrumental in making a case for my doctor to ultimately prescribe them.

But that's definitely locations dependent and medical gatekeeping is a problem. For many, informed consent is a good option, and sometimes the only option along with DIY.

[โ€“] crowcore_explorer@piefed.blahaj.zone 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

that had to be absolutely awful to go through and i'm sorry it happened. good on you for sticking up for yourself, i'd be so pissed. i hope you can find another route to hrt soon.

[โ€“] energycapsule@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago

God I was pissed, I never hang up on people. Just goes to show every person is different! Time heals all wounds. Looking into planned parenthood <3

[โ€“] erinmeow@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 4 days ago

oh no, psychiatrists........ especially with trans people aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa............ hate them

head pats patpatpatpatpat meow hugs

are DIY is an option??

[โ€“] happy_wheels@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

As I said to someone else once before:

I just want you to be able to :3 and be happy.

Also. I'm proud of you for showing up and recognizing that the doc wasn't going to be helpful. Take time for urself to recover and process! This shit is tough, way more than it should be in the first place.

Love you!

[โ€“] energycapsule@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago

Yup gotta recover from this and get lots of snuggles <3

[โ€“] azalea_flower@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 4 days ago

Yeah they suck. I very much feel you <3 Please make sure you don't stew in the bad feelings.

I have one of those appointments in a couple months, although I'm 100% getting on hrt as soon as possible regardless of how that goes, my parents really don't seem to get why I'd be so upset to be gate-kept (waiting months for the possibility of hrt), and think I'm taking on too much risk (in their eyes) by doing it myself.

I don't think the assessment is a requirement, it is possible to get prescribed hrt without one, but I would advise looking into DIY if you can't deal with the uncertainty or wait.

[โ€“] TheOtterInside@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

girl I am so sorry it happened to you โ€ฆ

sending you lotta internet hugs, take some time for yourself, have a walk, find their car, stick a knife in their tires and โ€ฆ do you like ice creams ?

[โ€“] Lojcs@piefed.social 1 points 4 days ago

Find local trans support groups and ask them for advice. You need to find a tried and true method.

"You don't know what you don't know" applies strongly to every step of the process. In my experience most therapists and doctors don't know much about trans people, let alone what they might need and how (or if) they can help.