this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] gandalf_der_13te@feddit.org 60 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

Missouri Cheese

Much government cheese is stored in "Missouri cheese caves",[10] underground warehouses for storing and aging cheese in and around the Midwestern state of Missouri, part of a national network of such facilities.[11] An erroneous article by Modern Farmer began circulating on social media in 2022 implying all of the USDA's 1.5 billion pounds of cheese was stored in caves near Springfield, Missouri.[12][13]

The US has it too.

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 35 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Imagine exploring some caves and just wandering into one of these vaults...

[–] GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think I know what the players in my D&D campaign will be wandering into next. Complete with cheese golems shaped like cows.

[–] Tanoh@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"I try to eat the cheese golem's head."

"Roll D20 for agility check."

*natural one*

"The golem is amused as it easily pulls away before you can sink your teeth into it, all you manage to chew on is your own hand and dignity. Roll D6 for finger damage and then golem attacks."

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[–] dreamkeeper@literature.cafe 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I know where I'm going when the zombie apocalypse hits.

[–] Bluewing@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

Enjoy your constipation!

[–] green_goglin@thelemmy.club 5 points 1 month ago

Very interesting !

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago

I want a cheese cave...

[–] InvalidName2@lemmy.zip 51 points 1 month ago (15 children)

Can't we solve this problem like Elon would solve the problem and simply store the cheese in space?

[–] WolfLink@sh.itjust.works 38 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Honestly storing cheese in space makes more sense than putting data centers in space

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 12 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Due to orbital decay, it ends up raining fondue. It's a huge mess.

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 weeks ago

You're right. We'd better store different cheeses together with some white wine, an assortment of spices and a bit of Kirschwasser. If it's going to be raining fondue, we may as well do it in style!

[–] content_educator_94@thelemmy.club 2 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

I'd watch that as a gritty sci fi comedy

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[–] samsamsamsam@discuss.online 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Only after announcing the cheese will be on Mars next year. Every year

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

"The first cheese to reach Mars!"

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 weeks ago

The moon isn't made of cheese ... yet!

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I want quicker access to cheese than space.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 27 points 1 month ago

"Once again the investor with the cheesiest portfolio comes out on top!"

eats cheese

"Oh no! I'm ruined!"

[–] huppakee@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A single round of Parmagiano is $2000.

[–] Nouvellalia@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

More like $20k!
Haha!
Bilbo! Another round of cheese for Thorin's Dustr!

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Nouvellalia@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It was a play on words.

round - a drink of liquor apiece served at one time to each person in a group
and
the fact that dwarves are prodigiously hungry and thirsty
gives us:
They would each require their own round of cheese for a round served to the group, which is what Thorin called to be delivered to the table. Hence the price tag.

But thank you for the earnest education on delicious cheese. The pungent, well aged cheeses have always been my favorite.

[–] fishy@lemmy.today 5 points 1 month ago

I'm a big time nerd and your joke was too nerdy for me, that's really something!

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[–] heliotrope@slrpnk.net 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What is this, The Day Today?

[–] Redfox8@mander.xyz 8 points 1 month ago

Oh good reference! And now for sport with Alan Partridge.

[–] squalless@programming.dev 13 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

bro just peg a new stablecoin to it if it's so liquid...

[–] Cort@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Woah woah woah, don't you dare accuse the Italians of making liquid cheese, that's definitely American

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[–] Tomorrow_Farewell@lemmy.ml 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] PodPerson@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago

Damn, Popular Mechanics. That pronoun usage is very grade school awful.

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