"Jesus take the wheel!"
I don't think he even has a driving licence.
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"Jesus take the wheel!"
I don't think he even has a driving licence.
Got it revoked for DUI probably. His BAC is the same as wine.
If he drove his car into a lake, would it float or would he just burst thru the roof like a bond villain?
talking about that, how didn't he fall walking in the water, weren't there little waves and all that?
Maybe he was also a surfer dude, I mean that gnarly hair and lack of job..
car would crash into the lake
Lol
turns coolant into wine
hell yeah jesus now make my gas infinite too
gives you lactose intolerance and turns your gastric juice into milk
Of course he has a drivers licence, he drove a Honda Accord

If I had one of them I wouldn't speak of it either.
Edit: Oof. We've got some Accord owners in the audience. Just riffin', kids.
They shouldn't wear seatbelts
Let them put their faith to the test
On a serious note.
I knew a woman who would not wear a seatbelt, her reasoning? If she wore one, it would signal to god that she didn't trust him.
I saw a video where daughters were arguing with their mother about turning the car off while it was being fueled. She refused to because "do you not trust Jesus? If we die, it is God's will. I trust him and will not interfere". Dangerous morons.
Did… did you know my mom? She’s literally bitched my entire life about how she shouldn’t have to wear one if she doesn’t want to and that if she died in an accident she would “go on to glory”, it took my baby brother balling his eyes out that he didn’t want her to die to get her to do it. I still have doubts that she wears one if she’s in the car by herself. For context I’m now in my 40s
Damn, literal death cult.
That's cool, did you use 'knew' as in before she flew out a windscreen?
does she believe in airbags.
There's stupid, then there's religious stupid...
Yeah but compare their driving record to atheists’ driving record. How often do you see nothing sitting by the side of the road?
I know it's a meme but... victims of car crashes are not just bad drivers
atheists keep running christians off the road!
there we go, back in meme town
Yes. I've been on motorcycles the better part of my life and I give any vehicles with religious stickers a wide berth.
College alumni stickers are also an excellent bad driver indicator.
Atheist: shit, I'm sliding out! Better get this under control.
Christian: Jesus, take the wheel!
Blame the vehicle industry.
A good Christian rides camels, horses, and multiple wifes.
Ride... the wives?

How would a centaur wear pants
You want Leah to wear clothes?
Never
Correct. Although she'll always be second choice for me. Unfortunately the best partner in pelican town is with the only person there who's more autistic than me.
Ah, if only there were some poly people in pelican town 😥
There are a bunch of them. Thanks to my rabbit foot, they are blissfully unaware that they're poly though. Anyway I refuse to share robin with Demetrius. The man's controlling, annoying, boring and frightfully pedantic. Robin can do better. Actually wile I'm at it I'm going to save Marnie from a life of being hidden away like she's something to be ashamed of. Fuck you Lewis! Her life's hard enough without you treating her like shit! Me, Marnie, Robin, and Leah getting trashed on ancient fruit wine in my barn during the week and doing peyote with Sandy on the weekend.
If i have to wear pants then everyone should suffer with me
حَرِيمٌ
monogamy is a recent western sabotage propaganda.
I know what a harem is. I was just making a joke about riding wives like animals vs sexually.
yes
Awareness ≢ endorsement.
I love consentual poly{gamy,eros} & promiscuity.
I am incompatibility with such an objectifying grooming dominant religion.
Free all✊🏿
According to the county I live in, if you graffiti a highway train bridge with images of Jesus it's fine for a decade to leave that up until someone adds little red devil horns, then it gets painted over within a week.
That's why if the city won't fix the pothole, you should spray paint a dick on it.
Well, cars weren't around in Jesus' time. No idea why they keep asking him to drive
It's the perfect religion for being an utter psychopath.
No matter what, you're forgiven if you believe some Palestinian dude a couple thousand years ago is the only son of a supreme deity.
It's such a dovetail with capitalism it's criminal; be horrible, go to the good afterlife anyway‽
as a kid used to get in competitions on who would spot more of these crosses during road trips, we got lots of mountain serpentines, thus many of these near cliffs
... Kinda crazy that a community so dedicated to woke scolding only has one comment that plenty of those are for victims.
I may be too hopeful but I assume it's cuz everyone is smart enough to understand the joke and that it's not actually making fun of the victims
Sure bro, that's why everyone else is competing to be as cruel and bigoted as they can.