this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2026
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[–] spirinolas@lemmy.world 50 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"But...the friend is a guy" "Did I stutter?"

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Worst case? you figure out you aren't bi

[–] spirinolas@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

It's not about pleasure, it's about power.

[–] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 44 points 2 weeks ago

The date is either going very poorly, or very well.

[–] skunk@lemmy.zip 27 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)
[–] Ostrakon@lemmy.world 54 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

Gonna be hard to simply have a nice time when you get blindsided with a change of plans after you were probably very much looking forward to the date you thought was agreed to.

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[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 8 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

only if we’re going dutch

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[–] Cris_Citrus@piefed.zip 8 points 2 weeks ago (35 children)

Why would you do that?? Unthinkable.

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[–] frostedtrailblazer@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I had this happen a lifetime ago back when I was a teen still. I think it’s not that unusual to have this happen when you are young and new to dating. I wasn’t totally sure it was an official date and neither were they, so they brought a friend along. We all had a fun time hanging out!

I think this reads as something someone new to the dating world would do. I think it felt natural because the nature of if it was even a date wasn’t something concrete. If we both were showing up with stronger romantic intentions it might have felt unnatural, but we were acquaintances already and this was more of a vibe check at the time.

While neither of us were interested in pursuing things romantically, we did remain friends. Not that intentional romantic pursuit was even on the mind really.

[–] skunk@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 weeks ago

And that's the healthy response I'm advocating for!

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

don’t hate the player; hate the game

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[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 26 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Hey, if that's what she has to do to feel safe on a first date, that's okay with me.

I ain't paying for the +1's drinks though.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

let turn this threesome into a Ménage à trois...

[–] wizzim@infosec.pub 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

But I would have to grow a moustache, and have all kind of robes and lotions !

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

the high cost of an active sexual lifestyle...

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 6 points 2 weeks ago

Unless the +1 is also on the table.

Might as well shoot your shot.

[–] jtrek@startrek.website 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I had a woman bring a friend to a date. She texted me shortly before-hand that her friend was around, and I was like "...okay, I guess." Her friend said hello, and then went and sat in another part of the bar.

But the real kicker was when she revealed that she doesn't even live here. This was in NYC. She lives in Atlanta, Georgia. She just lied on her profile. I've had dates with people who were just visiting (fond memories of weekend of debauchery with nice lady from the UK!), but they were up front about it.

Anyway, it was bad all around, but at least the bartender was sympathetic.

[–] Manalith@midwest.social 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean bringing the friend is absolutely fine, especially if she doesn't know you, honestly I'm surprised the friend even made her presence known, should've stayed hidden. If you're a creep, you're more likely to reveal that if you don't know you're being watched.

As far as being from a different place, that does seem like a dick thing to leave out if you're using Tinder whilst traveling, but I guess I don't know etiquette there. Though maybe she just got a bad vibe and used that as an excuse to end it.

[–] eurodyne@piefed.world 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I’ve gone on hook up dates where I brought a friend (for safety- the friend left after initial greetings), and I’ve gone on hook up dates where the other guy brought a friend for the same reason. No shame. It was totally cool, and we even mentioned it beforehand. this was not uncommon in the late 90s - early 00s.

In fact, I haven’t heard of someone doing it in a while, so I was a little surprised to see someone else asking about it.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

Escalate. Call two of your friends.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Can't be a surprise.

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