Jody M. Ken's child prodigy.
this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2026
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I know this is supposed to be a funny, but they are actually doing this kind of thing with their ebike delivery service. No license required, but supposedly must be 18.
So if you've lost your license because of multiple drunk driving convictions, amazon has a job for you.
Amazon is awful obviously, but that doesn't sound too bad
Bike courrier would be such a great job. Not for such an evil company, obviously, but in general I'd love that job.
A friend of mine worked as a bike courier and constantly had to deal with drivers trying to run him off the road. He eventually got hit, and broke his leg. It all sounded pretty miserable, but this was also before e-bikes so maybe itβs easier now.
Hmm ... Bike Courier sounds more like an ideal job in a 15 minute walkable city. In most parts of the US, not so much.
Funnily enough this happened in NYC, which is probably the closest we have to a walkable city!
Yeah this city isnβt anti-bike overall, and some neighborhoods have truly impressive biking infrastructure. But many streets/horizontal roads in Manhattan are brutal for bicyclists due to a subset of hyper-aggressive male drivers who are so desperate to feel powerful for just once in their life that theyβre willing to risk killing someone in an attempt to bully them off the only legal path offered to bicyclists.
My college had a handful of restaurants that delivered via bicycle. They were always the fastest and got a ton of business because of it. Pretty sure they just went to the college cycling team/clubs to recruit becuase they were always on very nice bikes in the full spandex bike suits. They were awesome
Unless you ride like this guy https://youtu.be/yWHdkK5j4yk
Almost scraped those kids good just after the 30sec mark
meh, still less dangerous than a car
not gonna deny the riding style is quite douchey, but compared to cars, this is just meh. and it seems like half of the manoeuvres he does are in response to shitty driving in the first place.
running reds like that without visibility, though, and weaving pedestrians like that.. fuck that shit.
Half the manoeuvres he does, like riding through every red light, cutting off pedestrians on crosswalks, riding on the sidewalk, forcing cars to break suddenly, β¦.?
no that would be the other half
stg sometimes I feel like lots of people here have the reading comprehension of the avg redditor
Don't forget, as a very squishy bike messenger weaving through endless cars driven by homocidal toddlers, that the ceramic in spark plugs goes right through auto glass, and they're certainly not something such a messenger would carry on their pocket βmuch like how U-locks are totally not hammers, just waiting silently from their arms-reach holster to defend you. π«‘
the ceramic in spark plugs goes right through auto glass
I've tried that and been entirely unsuccessful at it. Bounced right off with no damage whatsoever.
It's just too small and too light to actually break anything.
I've not personally attempted it, ^ahem^ but AFAIK it's fairly foolproof βthough my sources* also preferred to grind/scuff down the metal bits a little to help improve kinetic transference. Who knows. π
^*: NYC alley cats, '97-'11^
Sounds like it'd only work for side windows not windshields.
If, as a bicycle rider, you find yourself at a position that said windshield is the available, target... you should be bracing for impact, instead. π
Some glass can be surprisingly strong to the extent that it feels wrong and unintuitive.
Not auto glass in my anecdote, but last year I had a medium sized (30 gallons, ~114 liters) where the bottom got broken. I didn't need to fix it because I had a bigger spare waiting, so I decided to break it apart to more easily package the glass into a safe container for disposal or recycling.
I was able to smack that thing with a HAMMER and have it bounce right off. They were really hard swings too. My biggest concern was how freaking loud the hits were, like I was going to disturb a neighbor in their house or make them think they heard a gunshot. My second biggest concern was that I was going to fling glass across the yard using so much force. I believe put it into a large bin or wrapped it in something before I got the courage to turn it up to 11 and break the fucker.
I think I used a 3lb drilling hammer too, which looks like a mini sledgehammer. Heavier than a standard claw hammer, just not very pointy.
Auto glass is layered, and designed to shatter in non-sharp(ish) pieces. This helps it break in this fashion. Aquarium glass is not, last I checked.
Wolt and Bolt Food have cycling as an option here, but of course Wolt got bought by DoorDash or someone, so it's enshittified greatly. And I bet Bolt isn't far behind, it's getting pretty big.
So if youβve lost your license because of multiple drunk driving convictions, amazon has a job for you.
A job which technically doesn't involve driving. It's the state's responsibility to rehabilitate or punish drunk drivers into never drunk driving again, right?
But I'll leave it at that before I run any cover for Amazon.
Addictions are complicated and not easily "fixed" in many cases. That leaves permanently in jail or a job they can make money at while not driving.
It should be noted in many states you can get a DWI on a bike or scooter...
Amazon (through their subcontractors) pay significantly less than UPS or FedEx, so they get all the folks fired by UPS and FedEx and just put up with insane churn. Kind of like a fast food restaurant.
Funny how in one Lemmy post everyone is complaining that people get burned for life in the job market for making a mistake. Or how employers are evil for mandatory drug testing... And in the next one they get riled up because a company would dare hire a recovering alcoholic to ride a bike
I think it has a lot to do with whether you are helping them to rebuild their life, or exploiting their desperation.
Would not hiring them help
Paying a living wage and providing social security for workers would help more. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Well the original comment I was replying to worded it like these people should not be hired for these jobs, at all.
Of course I agree everyone should be free to pay them a better wage
"Help" would entail treating them as equal, not paying them a fraction of worth just because they cant find work anywhere else.
Wow, that's crazy. I wonder what number to call about those jobs. Just idle curiosity.
keywords like "Bike," "EBiker," "Cycler," or "Delivery Associate."
The Ebike is only used in dense urban areas.
Be advised, amazon's reputation is horrible. They really brutalize their employees.
Not only brutalize, but also leave their employees dead in warehouses and force other employees to work around the body.
Fuuuuuuuuuck Amazon. There was another article mixed into this horror story with another horror story where "every day people" can invest in real estate. Basically, everyday people are paying for Amazon to buy out all of the extra real estate and price fix "the everyday people" out of living in great cities. Again, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Amazon.
What do the everyday investors get out of that then?
Hmm I can see why that would be so tempting, and also why it's so horribly dangerous and unethical. You'd literally have to pick to invest specifically in a country of people you want to fuck over for it to be anything other than turkeys voting for thanksgiving
My guess is cities are saying corporations can't own this much real estate and this is how they're trying to get around those laws. They're billion dollar companies. Plus, sure they're getting dividends now, but what happens if the market goes the other way? The billion dollar isn't going to take the hit.
Well they did put up some orange cones, so nobody would set on him.
Cones cost money. Plenty of Gatorade pee bottles though.
Not like that though.
He drives a hi-lo in the warehouse. π
....a Hi-Lo?
It's like a Lo-Hi but backwards
Β
Duh