No Stupid Questions

Username checks out

As long as it isn’t interfering with your life, flick that bean. It’s not hurting anyone.

You don’t need to compare yourself to others. They’re not you. Twice a day doesn’t sound excessive to me. 20 times a day might, but twice? It’s your body.

Also keep in mind female masturbation has, until recently, been discouraged by western culture as deviant. It may be that some of your friends are downplaying their own regularity for social pressure (you already mentioned you vocally agree with what they say – others are probably doing that, too).

I do it every month or so for the dopamine, but I’m asexual. I’d say even a few times every day is fine. If you think it’s disruptive to your life, I’d recommend therapy, but that’s like if you can’t focus in a meeting because you haven’t done it for an hour and that’s all you can think about. Otherwise, just enjoy yourself. You’re fine.

As a married man, more than I would like to. My wife has wonky hormones and she's only in the mood right after her period. The doctor has me on bi-weekly testosterone shots that I stretch out into 4 weeks because they make me all horned up. It sucks when you can't get somewhere to take care of that distracting urge.

Working with attractive young women doesn't help either. Dear God I don't know what happened. Suddenly I feel like that creepy old dude.

I'm grossing myself out.

Have you considered that the friends might be insincere about their own frequency too? In many societies masturbation is considered shameful. Even when people admit they do it, they might not want you to think they do it "too much".

40's female. every day or every other day for me. and sometimes multiple times per day.

i feel that I didn't really take off until I was in my 30s, honestly. and after then its been like I am now.

but I feel quite normal. so I'm sure its normal for you too, Miss Curator!🙏

As much as you want to is normal. Suppressing your libido to fit in is not normal.

Well, if you mean normal as a synonym for typical or common, then a couple of times a week is where most adult, premenopausal women sit. Or, those that were willing to take part in surveys, which could skew things.

If you mean normal as a synonym for healthy, then normal is whatever frequency meets your sexual needs without interfering with the rest of your life.

Women tend to masturbate more as an enhancement of their sex life, supposedly (I didn't do the studies, so I can only say so much). Which means that you might masturbate more often when having a satisfying sex life with partners. Men tend to have an upper limit to ejaculation frequency that tops out with a couple of times a day for most men before they can't get an erection; the body just says nope and takes a rest. Three, maybe four ejaculations is where the average guy can crank some out, and most can't sustain that every day.

Mind you, men can orgasm without ejaculation! But it ain't easy to learn.

Women tend to be limited more by sensitivity and friction. The tissues of vulvae, vaginas, and clitorises gets abraded at some point, and with the elevated sensitivity brought on by orgasm, the typical woman is going to hit a similar limit as men in terms of sessions, but a higher number of orgasms may be involved per session. But! Those tissues recover quickly, so women are usually able to sustain their preferred frequency no matter how many a day it is, as the next day will have things back to typical conditions (again, on average).

So, if you're an every day kinda gal, don't worry. You're within known boundaries of frequency. As long as it isn't messing with the rest of your life, have fun and let the other people think what they will.

From what I gathered, it's weird if you don't stop for food, or in public. Other than that it's more or less normal.

I'm a guy, but yeah, often several times per day. Occasionally none. I'd say you're fairly normal.

29 year old woman. A few times a week, on average, I'd say. Potentially multiple times in a day.

When I have a partner, I tend to do it way less though, because I find that the sex is way better if I refrain from masturbating. Orgasms from masturbation aren't particularly satisfying for me unless I try to do a whole build up that I rarely have the time or energy for.

Worth mentioning that autism makes my general sensory experience pretty weird — I'm hypersensitive to most stimuli, and that also affects touch. This feeds into my above preferences in complex ways.

I also have a few physical disabilities that mean I'm less likely to be able to enjoy sexual pleasure as much unless I'm in the right mindset (i.e. chronic pain can distract from the physical pleasure).

It's possible that you're ahead of the curve when it comes to knowing what you like. I had a friend who was capable of reaching orgasm through masturbation, but it took so much effort that she rarely did it. Then she had a partner who helped her to figure out her own idiosyncratic preferences in terms of what she needed to reach orgasm, and that sparked a period where she "felt like a teenage boy" with how often she was masturbating. She was 32 at this point.

I have another friend who didn't even orgasm until she was 31 due to only having dated guys who were stereotypical straight dudes, which had calibrated her bar of what to expect super low (not just in what she expected from partners, but in terms of what sexual pleasure could feel like in general).

Another friend didn't masturbate at all until she was 28 (with the exception of some occasional pillow humping that she would feel tremendous shame about) due to religious trauma.

Unfortunately, the society we live in doesn't really equip women well to be able to come to understand our bodies and communicate our sexual needs. A lot of my friends in their 30s (especially the women) have said that they're loving their 30s way more than their 20s because of this kind of thing. 30 is still relatively young, so maybe (likely in addition to a naturally higher libido) you just have figured out what you like sooner than your friends have. Maybe some of them are yet to have an awakening of some sort, and the average rate of masturbation will be higher in a few years.

If it does not interfere with your life, then it's not a problem.

Might be a hot take, but:

• Sex is completely normal and natural.
• Most of the sex addiction discourse is astroturfed by christian fundamentalists.
• Most of the sex addiction stories I've read so far is just people wishing their life back before they had those weird urges, that came at a time they're way too immature for them mentally.
• Unless you're some variant of asexual, you will have sexual needs. They're hardwired into you. Please them as long as
  • the way of pleasing them won't harm you,
  • it doesn't violate someone's consent.
• The "grindset" is toxic, people should work less than 40 hours/week by this point, not 100 hours. The problem isn't too much time for sex but rather not enough time for it.

I don't think "normal" is a helpful frame of mind here. Maybe "healthy" is a better way to see it : does it make you feel good ? Does it feel like a healthy part of your life ? I don't want to decide for you, but from your other comments it seems like it probably is.

I would call it a problem if it becomes an obsession, if it takes time away from other things you want to do, if you do it so much you hurt yourself... Etc.

I'm pooped if I do it more than once every 2-3 days. Sometimes go for weeks without. Guy btw. But then, we have to reload. Seems fair that people without a reload timeout should masturbate more often.

Usually 1 or 2 times a day, more often 1.

I think it averages out to once a day, maybe once and a half.

On weekdays mostly in the evening, sometimes in the morning, some days not at all. On the weekends often twice a day. Sometimes three or even four a day, but that happens only if I'm using toys, just manually it feels a bit raw after two.

32, male, happily single.

When I was a teenager and early 20s, a few times a day, tbh. Holy shit, when I was a teenager, i was so fucking horny, like all the fucking time. then my twenties were the same, my thirties were very very different (next to no libido). these days? Almost never anymore. Just don't have a libido anymore :/ I am a bit of an old codger though. So maybe that explains it?

Enough to take the edge off, not so often it interfers with your life. The number will be different for every person and different at every stage of life for a person.

personally, 3-4 times a day.

that's mostly because the world is going to shit and I need that dopamine boost.

30 something guy here.

I oscillate. Usually somewhere between once every 2 days and 3x/day.

However, I've noticed that I feel almost no urge to masturbate when I spend a lot of time in nature - eg, on long backpacking trips. My theory is that - while there is nothing really wrong with masturbation - what is actually happening is that I am masturbating to counteract the stress of modern life. If I feel tired or lonely or anxious or sad, my brain knows it can feel happy chemicals just by beatin' the ol' bishop.

In this way, it feels similar to hunger. Sometimes I eat because I need food. But the vast majority of the time, I eat because I feel a compulsion to make myself feel good by eating.

So it might be worth considering if your desire of masturbate is coming from actual horniness, or a desire for some form of enjoyable escape from the moment you are in.

Once a day on average, early 30s male. Has been that way forever for me.

Middle aged male. Depends on what's going on in life. Usually once every couple of days. Sometimes go a couple of weeks or more without. Other times multiple shots per day.

30 something male, average is 1-2 times a day. Some days it's none, some days I get those demons in me. Down from 3-4 per day when I was younger, and some of those were deliberately prolonged sessions. Still do that now and then, but I've got shit to do most of the time.

I am married, but her libido only really spikes once or twice a week so that doesn't affect much. When I had multiple partners I almost never masturbated, but I was having sex multiple times per day, so.

Trans woman. My libido is less assertive when I'm on feminising hormones. I can kinda forget to and maybe only do it once every few days. Whenever I go off HRT for any reason and my T rises, my penis usually tells me what we're going to do first thing in the morning and before bed.

20s male. Generally once per day but I find it's easier and easier to forget and I sometimes go a week without thinking about it. I rarely if ever do 2. I've gotta cool down for 20 minutes between, which gives a lot of time to realise I should be doing something else.

1-2 daily sounds a bit higher than I would expect most people to be at, but totally within normal range.

I mean, I'm an asexual and sex-repulsed person, so I don't get horny, let alone masturbate, ever.

However, there are also men and women in this world that do that shit constantly.

So I don't know, anything between "never" and "constantly," inclusive, is a normal amount.

Do you have ADHD? If you do than you're probably just chasing dopamine. Doesn't mean you're doing it an unhealthy amount, but if you're doing it cuz you're 'bored' not, 'horny' than that's probably why.

Me personally it aches afterwards if I jack it too many times in one day. I don't know about women. I imagine uterine walls can only handle so much dildo friction while clits can only handle so much vibrator stim before they start complaining.

I also think what kind of porn you consume, if any, can be a factor. Like when I go long stints away from the wife watching porn I get desensitized mentally and seek out more intense content. I think depending on the person and the content it can have negative mental effects if overdone.