I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. We communicated via Ouija board.
this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2026
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I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, I can plane shift to his holdings in Avernus.
Jack seems like a standup guy I'd trust him.
oooo it's a satire account? This is a good fucking trick with the highly similar post. It completely had me.
Yeah the staring contest kinda gave the game away, it's very funny that CNN quoted him.
thomas massie was the funniest
Second one has to be satire
Lmao fuck. I got, got!
In your defense so did CNN.
Spoke to my dear friend Mitch McConnell today, for about three hours. He said post hog, death to America
Mitch was a real one all along huh
I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. He’s still recovering in the hospital. We talked for just shy of 0 minutes. He is dead.
I spoke to my old friend, The Emperor of Mankind for 20 minutes
He listened intently as I told him about the day, then a single tear rolled down his cheek and was collected by a hooded serf who left without making a sound
I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. We talked for just shy of 80 minutes. He's a lot more bloated than I remember, but very oozy as always. Still had the characteristic corpse flies.We spoke about the unfolding situations in SAN MARINO, LESOTHO, and even MALTA. We also spoke about the national security threat posed by the hexgrad.ml website and the lurking Marxist-Leninst-Mamdanist threat. I told him I want to see him back at work as soon as possible, or else I'm gonna kill him so hard he'll wish he was dead.
I spoke to Mitch, he's just fine, here look at him!
It took me a bit to figure out if they sent two politicians the same script and the latter was just really weird about it, or the second one was a bit. Second one is in fact a bit.
Jack salvaging repudiability with that "he let me do all the talking" part.