You gotta get the Costco family size box with 45 disposable controllers. Best deal in town. Plus, for each turtle that chokes on the plastics, they are planting two small but sizable bushes.
The Onion and other satire w/ layers
For posting satire from The Onion and other similar sources.
redundancy, but not for its own sake
Human crafted content only please! If reporting a violation or suspicious content please provide evidence in the report or a direct message. Thank you.
Be nice. All instance rules apply.
Rules:
- Be respectful. Everyone should feel welcome here.
- No bigotry - including racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or xenophobia.
- No Ads / Spamming.
- No pornography.
Règles :
- Soyez respectueux. Tout le monde doit se sentir le bienvenu ici.
- Pas de bigoterie - y compris le racisme, le sexisme, le capacitisme, l’homophobie, la transphobie ou la xénophobie.
- Pas de publicités / Pas de spam.
- Pas de pornographie.
Fucking billionaire over here with a Costco membership. You're single handily the reason so many people suffer.
It's cool man, chill, we donate the cardboard box to an orphanage.
I grew up in a Costco-sourced cardboard box, and for that I'm forever grateful
I always knew I was doing the right thing! Totally beats having to flatten it up to go into the recycling bin.
luxury! i had to live in a banana box from target in a hole in the ground
Well at least you had a box and a hole. I only had a damp newspaper on a patch of dirt to live in.
With how much blunders PlayStation had done in the recent time, this sounds believable
Is The Chaser a satire site?
The Chaser is a satirical media empire which rivals Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation in all fields except power, influence, popularity and profitability.
From their about page: https://chaser.com.au/about/
Thank you for for your service kind stranger, noted, there are website that put actuall useful information in their about page.
No it’s a legit news site. You can tell by the way that it is
I believe you and will stock up on 365 of those controllers so I can play for a year.
No. Check to make sure your controller hasn't exploded and started a fire.
Oh you're right, it disintegrated in Rocket League mid game, so the time limit is 2 or 3 minutes.
Don't be giving them any ideas now!
Seems like the DualSense is an annually subscription by the way they build these things.
I have three, two are dead. It’s fucking stupid.
They should get sued for this, it’s worse than joy cons (at least Nintendo put con in the name)
How did they die? Like buttons/sticks failing while the controller still works otherwise? Won't charge? Won't turn on/connect?
Stick drift and trigger drift.
Ah yeah, now that you mention it, I did fix my PSVR2 controller when it got a drift, though it was from me accidentally throwing it, so I didn't feel disappointed they used a similar implementation to Nintendo for the sticks as I was busy being in "fix it" mode.
On that note, they are fixable (the sticks at least, not sure about the triggers), though reassembling the sticks is a delicate operation and involved unbending/rebending some very thin metal strips, one of which broke on mine (though I was able to secure it anyways when I resoldered it to the PCB).
I've been thinking of trying out a career change to tech repair/tweaking.
I’ve fixed triggers before for ps3 and ps4. With ps5 I’ve been too busy and I don’t really want to deal with the overly fancy resistive triggers.
I bought the pro controller and it does have replaceable sticks, and I’ve gone through one replacement which costs like twice as much as a base replacement kit plus shipping, but it’s easier.
I have three, two are dead. It’s fucking stupi
Are you me? My joy-cobs sill live on after 6.5 years!
need a $4.99 a month subscription to unlock the use of Circle, Triangle, R2, and L2
Honestly I could see them doing something like linking controllers to single accounts.
Want to play with a friend? They had better have a controller and PSN account!
They’d advertise it as instantly play with friends via their account without needing to log in on each console. Then the controller of course would need a pin to verify, in case the controller gets stolen or sold. Maybe you need an app for that to further link your identity, or they add a fingerprint reader and make it more expensive.
Plus, it kills off the third party controllers sucking up all your potential revenue. They’re probably used by cheaters anyways, right? You can only trust Sony. You must submit to Sony.
I only let my kids use the PS5 via PS4 Remote Play. I can get two PS4 controllers for $10. I never have to care if my kids drop the controllers or even throw them. We just grab another off the stack.
edit: even using them gently, and with my kids banned, I have had 2 PS5 controllers die already.
Man, I was idly browsing the front page while stuck in meeting, and ate the fuck out of this onion.
Being real, they damn near already are, if you'll forgive the hyperbole.
The standard controllers' sticks crap out way faster than they should. And their "premium" controller really only improves that by virtue of the sticks being easy to replace. The edge is good otherwise, but the lack of better sticks at that price is horrible.
I’ve gone through a controller a year on average for both Xbone and PS. I plan on swapping out joysticks on some of them one of these days. The Steam controller cannot be here soon enough. At least that one shouldn’t drift instantly. Time will tell.
I have an old wired xbone controller, or 360 actually, that's older than my nephew who recently graduated from grade 8. The drift is only noticable in a couple of games, and the rubber has fallen off the joysticks, but the plastic underneath is nice and smooth. I'm sure the quality has gone down since then.