Autism

Leave your phone on do-not-disturb, and inform anyone you give your number to that the phone is always on DND so they shouldn't expect you to answer or have an immediate response.

Never debate anything with strangers on the Internet. It's just a waste of time, as in the best case scenario nothing actually changes. It's not worth the time, frustration, emotional toll or being the target of insults. Just tell anyone looking to argue with you that they're right, that they're always right without exception, and then walk away.

breathe and speak slower, it helps you think about what you’re going to say, avoiding over sharing

Every morning I listen to a radio program. From monday to friday, the program follows the same schedule so I know without having to look at any watch, what am I doing during my morning routine. I know at what part of the program I brush my teeth, or heat the water for the tea, or do my skincare or leave the house.

Since the program is well structured and punctual, my schedule for the morning is well organized, I don't skip any step of it and am always on time. Something extremely important for me as if my morning routine fails for whatever reason, the rest of the day is guaranteed to be a mess.

I also have a shower playlist. My showers last 3 minutes, 4 tops. Having a playlist of songs no longer than 4 minutes, makes me know if I'm on time or I should already leave the shower.

Also, as others recommended, earplugs for when you need noise reduction. I use the Loop Switch ones as I can switch control the level of noise reduction with a small switch on them without having to take them off.

These are the things that help me: Earplugs. I prefer these ones https://www.amazon.ca/3M-Non-corded-Disposable-Earplugs-Pairs/dp/B000I7LH8Y but you might have some luck with Loops as well. I would like those except they don't fit one of my ears very well.

Light-filtering Glasses. Sunglasses are good for outdooes, but I also have a pair of FL-41 coated glasses. They are meant for migraine sufferers, but I swear they make processing easier when I wear them. https://www.theraspecs.com/fl-41-glasses/

Stop trying to live your life according to the standard, accepted template. It's really important to decide what you value in life and reject the judgments of others. You have to figure out how to be okay with, or enjoy, being outcast. It's not so bad once you figure that out. https://www.amazon.ca/Courage-Be-Disliked-Phenomenon-Happiness/dp/1668069539

The best one so far was sitting down with my spouse and making lists:

• default grocery list
• 2nd list with low effort meal components in case we can't manage to cook. (A few are kept in the house but this is more for one to pick up for the other in times if need).
• priority chore list, including which ones we need both to keep an eye on because consequences of forgetting are too high, such as making sure credit cards are paid and the foundation drain system is checked.

This means if one of us just can't the other has a list of things they can take over, they know what can be dropped so they don't also get overwhelmed, as well as a list of items to grab to help the other meet their needs.

Another one that is very helpful is the ability to pause conversations and come back to them when we're more able to participate. We agree that conflicts and other serious discussions require us both to be able to listen and understand. If we can't do that, we are wasting time, getting stressed out, etc. We let the other know, and maybe throw it in the calendar to make sure we don't forget.

I look at and treat humanity as if I'm observing and interacting with wild animals.

This might be the ADHD more than anything, but making alarms on my phone changed my life. I used to forget important things all the time, but then I started making alarms for the most important stuff, and all of a sudden I stopped forgetting them!

Nowadays I'll make an alarm for everything. I said I'd go get groceries after I finish this episode of my TV show? Better make an alarm for 7 minutes from now. I'm going to the store to buy eggs? Better make an alarm titled "eggs" to go off at the store in case I get distracted by something.

At this point I open my alarms app automatically any time there's anything at all to remember. I have dozens of concurrent alarms, and it's great.

Wearing a mask. Oh my god. People finally stopped commenting on my stupid face. No more "why so sad?" Or "it can't be that bad" or "cheer up" or "where's a smile!" Just leave my fucking resting sad bitch face alone! And now they doooooo and its so much better because I don't have to devote brain power to remembering idiots care about my mouth at all.

Constantly reminding myself that if people do something all the time, I should be able to do it. I just need to figure out how they're doing it as the first step. Yeah I still embarrass myself sometimes but it's taken me a lot further than just avoiding doing things or ducking assignments because I was afraid of the consequences of not knowing what to do.

Years ago my old vacuum cleaner finally broke and I was looking for a new one, but then my car broke down so instead of the new vacuum my money went to fixing the car. So I was without a vacuum and had to brush the floor clean.. And yeah. It's so, so, so much better. Quiet, doesn't get stuck, doesn't flip to it's back, no cord, doesn't smell like dust.. Now when I clean the floors I no longer feel THE ANGERY which would be enough to make me kill a kitten in the process.

Fuck vacuums. Unless you have carpet floor, you don't really need them. It's just marketing.

I use a broom with a shovely part and also a "squeegee" that is usually used to try the shower room floor. And I of course mop the floors between few months. Rugs I spank outdoors.

Only downside is that if I mention that I don't own a vacuum, it has made people call me gross and I have gotten questions like "do you even mop like ever!?" when I have already said that I use a brush instead. Almost no house has carpet floor in this country.

Just fuck vacuum cleaners. All my homies hate vacuum cleaners.

EDIT// Haha I think broom is better word than brush, I meant that one.

Stop catering to the expectations neurotypicals seem to have. You will never do right by them. Accept that they're usually wrong about things when it comes to what you can and cannot do, and do your best to tune them out any way you can. You know what you can and cannot do. Don't let them dictate where your limits lie.

Wearing exclusively loose/comfortable clothing, and having short hair.

Suddenly I had more mental bandwidth for a lot since I wasn’t constantly stressed by subconsciously processing extra sensory input.

YMMV to personal taste; adjust accordingly.

Instead of avoiding eye contact, focus on the bridge of their nose.

They can’t tell you aren’t looking them in the eye.

Rejecting society standard about "good living habits" and just do what I can

Headphones and loud music

I only speak to people when I'm not upset. If I get upset, I need at least 30 mins alone to calm down and if you try to communicate with me during that, you'll have a bad time. I also need time to prepare for and recover from social situations or overstimulating situations. Just those two have made a world of difference. I should also add that I have AuDHD, so it's a bit different than people with only autism.

Having a physical planner and writing in it using only pencil helps me a lot to budget energy. I plan out all energy consuming activities ahead for each week. I plan to do 5 stressful tasks each day, but what counts as stressful changes constantly, which is why I write in pencil. If I don't have the energy for something on one day I will erase and reschedule it and write something less demanding as a task, otherwise I always have to do what's on the list. I am not allowed to do more than 5 stressful things even on a good day, because then I usually overwork myself, and I have to plan in recovery time after an especially demanding day. Also, I break down big tasks beforehand, so I can be as specific as possible with my task setting (Goblintools can help with that). I use a physical planner because it gets me off of my phone and because I can remember stuff better when I write it down by hand, and I use pencil so I don't have to cross out unfinished tasks and be reminded of "failing" when looking back.

So yeah, TLDR: an analog planner with strict rules on how to budget energy and some flexibility to acommodate fluctuating energy levels

Noise cancelling headphones, especially airpods pro. I wear them basically when I go out anywhere there are a lot of people

Diary and reading books

I do not need human contact anymore

Being allowed to do things my way, even if it makes no sense to others. I do lots of things differently to everyone else, because they work for me, and the people I live with are respectful of that. I've had to make lots of changes recently due to being in Autistic burnout, and that has resulted in me doing even more things "my way". Sometimes, when I'm struggling with speaking, it means saying things very briefly - one or two words, like "tea?" instead of "do you want a cup of tea?" or "out" when I need to leave a shop because it's overwhelming me. Other times, it's just being allowed to do my grounding routines, like getting my breakfast in peace, because I get muddled or distracted if someone is hovering round me in the kitchen while I do it.

A mid range smart watch does double duty for me; I can quickly pause white noise or music to talk to people so I can wear my over ear headphones at all times and have schedule alarms that aren't as obnoxious as my phone alarms

Noise cancelling headphones, not just for avoiding other people's noise in general but also to make noisier tasks easier. Vacuum, blender, cooking in general with all the loud pots and pans, fans, drill, epilator, electric toothbrush. I either avoided them or tried to get them over with as quickly as possible and did a haphazard job, they've helped me in about every aspect of my life.

Don't think of autism as a disease. It's just your personality. The stigma on autism make people "diagnosed" with it think they're weird.

The truth is: everyone is weird. It's just there's a bunch of weirdos trying to make you think you're weird so they can pretend they're "normal".

Explaining it to people. It's hard, but people eventually understand

This advice sounds concerningly helpful to me. Uh oh

Consistently working out, the routine and predictably of it is surprisingly good for the mental side. It has done wonders for my emotional regulation and actually learning to notice emotions in my body, kinda like mindfulness meditation. Under the barbell i am forced to focus on my body and how my body reacts and moves, even after working out. Every time i bend over or squat down to pick something up, the weakened muscles remind themselves and once again force me to focus on my body making memmore aware of it or just flex, not for showing off reasons. Just for my own pleasure.

Of course the physical side is an added benefit as well.

It has become the highlight of my day and i am in a worse mood if i miss it or it gets disrupted, which is rare.

Added benefit is that others are assuming I'm highly disciplined as well.

Um, I gave up and went through a period of acute suicidality that required intervention. I didn't die, but the parts of me that worried about stuff sure did.

I am much happier now because I know now that I can check myself literally whenever I want.

So, you know, however you want to clean up the phrasing on that, I guess.

Getting a pair of glasses with FL-41 lenses.

Look between the eyes.

And general advice... there are around 10 or so major groups with similiar symptoms. Then there's AuDHD, Aspergers...

A few things:

• get professional help if you can
  • the right medication can truly help More AuDHD:
• try a few Personal Information Management systems, can also be offline/manual
  • Also a good tab management tool for the browser, group & sort & discard them regularly

I think a lot of us do this already, but I regain energy by spending time with my special interests and by stimming. I need to do both daily while being alone.

I also like to be with my family, but I also really need that alone time when I can shake my legs and fidget and read about bats or something.