407
submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@feddit.ch to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[-] OpenHammer6677@lemmy.world 76 points 11 months ago

Willy Wonka and Venture Capitalism

[-] gibmiser@lemmy.world 47 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Oompa loompa doompety doo

We have a perfect deal for you

Oompa loompa doompety dee

If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you get when you buy a company

That is struggling to make any money?

You strip it down and sell all of its parts

And pocket all of the profits

with no remorse

You don't care about the workers' fate

You only care about the growth rate

You know that greed is good and right

You sleep so soundly every night

Oompa loompa doompety da

If you are greedy you will go far

You will live in happiness too

Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do

Doompety do

[-] Tronn4@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

This guy Oompas

[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Wrong set! You're supposed to be on the set of Pretty Woman!

[-] BolexForSoup@kbin.social 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Willy Wonka and the Anti-Trust Suit

Willy Wonka and the OSHA Audit

Willy Wonka and the Teamsters Walkout

[-] Poggervania@kbin.social 2 points 11 months ago

Willy Wonka 2: Da Search For More Money

[-] Froyn@kbin.social 57 points 11 months ago

It's not a true Wonka movie until they start killing off kids. It's a low bar, haven't seen this version, hoping they clear it in glorious Wonka fashion.

[-] smock9@lemm.ee 13 points 11 months ago

Depends on what you believe about Snowpiercer https://youtu.be/jEX52h1TvuA?si=_fq8mzV8saPiFElz

[-] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one 11 points 11 months ago

Funding education: Willy Wonka no

Child murder: Willy Wonka yes

[-] TrismegistusMx@slrpnk.net 32 points 11 months ago

Don't forget the neoliberal fantasy of a gleeful slave class who work for food.

[-] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 24 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I suppose in that specific sense (the exploited slave workforce), the Oompa Loompas aren't even that unrealistic a portrayal of how chocolate gets produced.

[-] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one 10 points 11 months ago

Sure the Oompa Loompas are dying in forced labor, but this is the Best System in the World™

[-] thesprongler@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

But this one explains how he hoodwinks a culture into indentured servitude (I assume)!

[-] EatYouWell@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

Drugs, probably. Or just took a page from the Christianity playbook.

[-] FunkyMonk@kbin.social 6 points 11 months ago

I loved the first one so much, then they made a remake to expand on Mysterous Bombadil Candy past... Man I don't need to know Tom Bombadil's backstory, I don't want to know about wonka's powercreep. NOW THEY ARE MAKING A THIRD REMAKE, AND A SEQUIL BOOK HAS EXISTED THIS WHOLE TIME. This and Trolls just cashing in on that nostalgia is all they know how to do with kids. Turning Red got bawked at but I keep seeing nothing but hype for this crap.

[-] Kiosade@lemmy.ca 3 points 11 months ago

It’s because society shits on anything made for or loved by Teen girls. It’s pretty fucked up honestly.

[-] UristMcHolland@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Just watched this movie today and loved it. Don't understand the hate in the comments. Oompa Lumpa song and dance, check. Crazy chocolates that make people float and shit, check. Willy Wonka doing weird shit and near-magical feats, check. It's a great movie.

[-] Nobsi@feddit.de -2 points 11 months ago

Did anyone here even watch the Movie?

[-] Monkeyhog@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Why on earth would anyone do that?

[-] June@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago

I did and I enjoyed it well enough for what it is.

That said, it is not a Willy Wonka movie. It’s something new with the same name.

[-] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works -3 points 11 months ago

I saw the trailer and it was absolute dogshit.

[-] Nobsi@feddit.de 3 points 11 months ago

So you didn't see it. Thanks. Proves my point

[-] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago

Happy to help. Not sure what point we're proving? That even the trailer is unwatchable?

[-] Nobsi@feddit.de -3 points 11 months ago

That y'all are as shallow and dumb as the kids that hated justin bieber back in the day.

[-] anton@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 11 months ago

That doesn't not follow from the previous statements.

this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2023
407 points (98.8% liked)

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