this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2023
407 points (98.8% liked)

The Onion

4491 readers
552 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
seahorse@midwest.social
pbrisgreat@midwest.social
407
Prequel Depicts Young Willy Wonka Using Rich Father’s Investment To Buy Already-Successful Chocolate Factory (www.theonion.com)
submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@feddit.ch to c/theonion@midwest.social
26 comments fedilink hide all child comments
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] OpenHammer6677@lemmy.world 76 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Willy Wonka and Venture Capitalism

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 47 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Oompa loompa doompety doo

We have a perfect deal for you

Oompa loompa doompety dee

If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you get when you buy a company

That is struggling to make any money?

You strip it down and sell all of its parts

And pocket all of the profits

with no remorse

You don't care about the workers' fate

You only care about the growth rate

You know that greed is good and right

You sleep so soundly every night

Oompa loompa doompety da

If you are greedy you will go far

You will live in happiness too

Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do

Doompety do

[–] Tronn4@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

This guy Oompas

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Wrong set! You're supposed to be on the set of Pretty Woman!

[–] BolexForSoup@kbin.social 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Willy Wonka and the Anti-Trust Suit

Willy Wonka and the OSHA Audit

Willy Wonka and the Teamsters Walkout

[–] Poggervania@kbin.social 2 points 11 months ago

Willy Wonka 2: Da Search For More Money