this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2023
313 points (98.2% liked)

Not The Onion

17195 readers
1107 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Community members in a Tennessee school district want to banish Satan from their children’s halls after the formation of a new club was announced.

The After School Satan Club (ASSC) wants to establish a branch in Chimneyrock elementary school in the Memphis-Shelby county schools (MSCS) district.

Cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/9594849

top 41 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] KoalaUnknown@lemmy.world 70 points 2 years ago

It’s so funny seeing Cristians protest against these clubs that they don’t understand, and the best part is they can’t do shit.

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 56 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sorry (not sorry), Christians - religious freedom means freedom to practice ALL religions. This is categorically a constitutional matter, and you do not have a legal recourse to halt this (nor should you).

[–] CoolMatt@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

Which especially funny because it's part of the same religion, just the "other side"

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 52 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] PeachMan@lemmy.world 47 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Wodge@lemmy.world 55 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] RIPandTERROR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 45 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Nougat@kbin.social 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] GlitchyDigiBun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)
[–] Mok98@feddit.it 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] EvilBit@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] EvilBit@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Pedal to the Baphometal

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You split the thread, dividing reality into two! Who knows what will happen now!

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Two Satans? Double the speed?

[–] Wodge@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago
[–] Mok98@feddit.it 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 3 points 2 years ago

You divided the thread, splitting reality into two! Now who knows what will happen!

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 48 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] magnor@lemmy.magnor.ovh 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] EvilEyedPanda@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Hail the flying spaghetti monster!

[–] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 47 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Better than an after-school christian club ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] athos77@kbin.social 17 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Well, the reason for the after school Satan club was that they had a pre school Christian club.

[–] r00ty@kbin.life 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Breakfast with God, dinner with the Devil!

How most Christians naturally react through the day due to coping mechanisms that rely on a being that isn't real and can do nothing for you lol.

[–] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 years ago

Yeah, and I'd wager it's better than an after-school christian club.

[–] Moops@lemmy.world 47 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"Freedom of religion!

... As long as it's ours"

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Yes, it is indeed their religion they are protesting.

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 23 points 2 years ago

The whole idea behind it is pretty genius. Metaphorically speaking, the only people that think there's a supernatural devil behind this club is because they want to shove their belief in their Gods into schools. If one must exist in schools then so must the other.

[–] eighthourlunch@kbin.social 18 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

LOL! Good luck with that. You invited me in. I'm not going anywhere. 😈

[–] BeakersBunsen@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Totally read that as Santa and was confused why 1 they made a Santa club and 2 why people were so angry to ban it. Either way bunch of haters and need to be more tolerant like their Jesus was

To be fair, in both cases the situation would have been the same: An after-school club with a fictional mascot taken from Christian mythology, protested BY Christians who are ironically the only ones to actually believe that said mascot exists IRL.

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Lucifer would be proud.

[–] Magister@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago
[–] Otherwise_Direction7@monyet.cc 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Damn, the new Hate Die: School Satanic Project TV adaptation looks pretty legit ngl

/joking