I've had someone point out a shoplifter because they thought I looked like an off-duty cop
I was very offended
this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2026
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Thank you, I'll take care of this.
Immediately tell our new friend to be more discreet.
That's bad on two levels, first how dare they insult you like that but also, no, they did not see anyone shoplifting (unless this was in a mom & pop shop)
Damn... That would ruin my whole week.
I would respond by saying "I didn't see a shoplifter"
I hope you don't drive a ford
Definitely not
Time for a make over, yay!
A few years ago a man stopped me in the dairy section of a store because his wife had sent him to get cream cheese and he didn't know which kind he should get. This man looked at me and said "this is someone who knows things about cream cheese", and he was fucking right!
It was at that moment that I knew I had peaked.
Looks up from the cheese fort they built in the aisle
O Senpai of the Kraftwerk, what is your wisdom?
Wir fahr'n, fahr'n, fahr'n auf der Autobahn
Wir fahr'n, fahr'n, fahr'n auf der Autobahn
Jetzt schalten wir das Radio an
Aus dem Lautsprecher klingt es dann
Wir fahr'n, fahr'n, fahr'n auf der Autobahn
Such a beautiful language 🥲
I was told 20 years ago: "I knew it! You just look like a whiskey guy". I am still riding that high.
eyes fluttering, neck tilted slightly sideways:
"I am a connoisseur, of cheese..."
Me smelling the different camemberts in the aisle to find the stinkiest most ripe one to buy.
I assume I just have "the look". Because it's a semi-frequent situation for me to be standing in a store shopping and minding my own business, only to have someone assume I'm an employee and ask me a question like "Where do ya'll keep the bathroom cleaner?" or "Can you check and see if they have any more Banana Creme Oikos Triple Zero in the back?"
Then came the rise of those in-store shoppers and personal shopper services, and now even having a cart full of my own groceries doesn't guarantee I won't be mistaken as being an employee and asked for assistance.
I mostly don't mind, though and I do go out of my way to help short people reach items on the top shelf if I notice them struggling. Women and older people usually seem pretty happy about it, younger non-geriatric men seem to be less enthusiastic.
As a short older woman I appreciate help with high items. If there's nobody offering, I look for someone other than the tallest guy around, who gets asked all the time. The teen on her platforms or the guy who's not quite 6 feet is just as capable of reaching what I (5'1") can't, and might get a little lift out of being asked and thanked.
As a short younger woman, I like the excuse to climb on shelves a bit (even though it's really just me standing on the bottom shelf for maybe 3 extra inches if I am certain it's sturdy enough). When I age and this maneuver carries more risk, maybe I'll shift to making others feel useful :P
The real short person playground maneuvers happen at home in my kitchen. Top-shelf item on the cabinet? Maneuver myself into sitting on the counter, and stretch to reach.
As a woman who's not quite 6', it really is no trouble. My wife is regular sized so I'm very used to getting stuff down from high spaces.
When I go to Trader Joe's, I get asked about wine.
I've been mistaken for an employee in different stores so many times because I just "look like I work here" even though I'm usually not wearing anything close to the store uniform. It's happened at a gas station, flower shops, supermarkets, home improvement stores, and once at IKEA.
You look competent. That's all it takes.
"You look like you know what you're doing with heroin" would be another matter.