Obligatory, FUCK AIRBNB!
this post was submitted on 28 May 2026
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My husband got tired of being the only planner and stopped, and his friend group basically disintegrated. He came to regret it later realizing, yes, someone has to take the lead or things don't happen.
I don't see why that was so regretful of him to stop if he got burnt out from continuing. I would rather be disappointed that no one else was interested in at least rotating the burden; even just one other person alternating can make a huge difference. With that said, I wonder if he asked anyone.
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(1 replies)
Never ever book an airbnb
Yeah, book airbnb, buy tickets and then watch people casually forget to pay you back.
Those are not friends.
Except everyone is like that. If you will insist on only hanging out with people that that take part in organizing, are on time, pay their debts promptly and actually have time to go out you will be handing out alone.
This is false.
If it's different for you, you're very lucky. Enjoy.
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oh sure thanks, let me get my gold lined cheque book and start making reservations this second!
Well yeah that post is bougie af, you could just invite people over lol
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(4 replies)
book the airbnb
I'd rather be lonely than give this garbage company a single cent of my money.
They rent out Palestinian homes in the West Bank that were stolen by Zionist settler terrorists.
Fuck AirBnB
There's a reason I stopped hosting gatherings and planning events.
I used to live within 20 minutes by car, bus, or train to every single one of my friends. Now the closest one is 35 minutes away. Many of them are parents now, some have second jobs.
Planning changed from a "let's hang next Friday" to a week-long process of comparing availabilities (usually received after individually bugging people) which results in a planned night 1-2 months out. And often times, something comes up and we have to start over.
I got frustrated with it and started giving them MY availability, telling them to figure it out between themselves and get back to me. But since I'm kind of the linchpin of a disparate friend group, it rarely happens.
My goodness, I have a friend who refuses (REFUSES) to give a bulk availability list, and instead just say "No" to everyone else's dates that don't match his. My bro, just give me a list of days for the love of socialism.
Me: I can do X, Y, Z, and AA
Friend1 : I got X, Z, AA, and maybe Y if we go early
Friend2: I got V, Y, N, %, and Left-Field
Friend3 : None of those work for me
Me: What does work for you?
Friend3: I dunno, what dates are you guys open to?
Me: WE JUST DID THAT
I mean, at that point, don't discuss it in text, but use a scheduling tool that forces people into a framework. If they refuse, they're just being a dick, but at that point, at least it's obvious they're fucking around.
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There is an argument here for urbanism. Here in the states at least the "dream" is to move to a smaller suburb and live in a detached home. For me, it sounds horrible, being an hour away from your friends by car. I'll always be somewhere where I can bus/train/walk to other people.
There's actually a good theory that that's why so many people look fondly back on college. It's not the university they're missing, but a walkable neighborhood.
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This week, I planned a 4p game night, got several people to respond affirmatively on it. No one showed up.
Some people are just so brain-empty they can’t associate words to meaning. They just respond in expectation, assuming they should say “Yeah, I’ll be there!” and then perform no follow up with travel planning or calendar entries. That is how dumb this generation is.
Flaky people have always been flaky it's not a generational thing.
You were planning the event. Did you perform any follow up?
It's the phones 😒
People were flaky before phones, don't make this a generational thing.
I'm not, I was less flaky before I got a phone.
Young folks are the ones eschewing smartphones, not boomers
I'm the opposite. Having easy access to calendar reminders has made me way less flaky
Ah interesting. For me being able to actually reach people at any time has made me much more prone to cancelling plans.
I guess that shows the danger of generalizations based on a small sample size.
Neat AirBnB ad
Step 1: Become the planner.
Step 2: Tell every one that the plan is cancelled.
Step 3: Enjoy your time alone at home, watching a film or show you've already watched 100 times, while drinking cola with potato chips.
I gotta find a community that has more social people than anti-socisl. It's kind of exhausting reading so much of this.
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(6 replies)
This is a great way to end up with no friends lol
Downvoting me doesn't make it less true
Oh my goodness, THIS, a million percent!! Also, you have to be ok with the event you plan being the reward in itself for you, because if you expect people to thank you... you're going to have a bad time. On top of that, you have to be ok with people expecting you to do it forever from that moment on. Basically, you're going to have to be quite emotionally and mentally robust to enjoy the experience 🤣
A regularly scheduled event is imo the best solution. Just have something on one night per month, everyone knows when it is, if they can't make it no big deal there's always next month. No need to continuously be organising something new.
Introverts need more casual interactions, the walk or bike to work/school, with a stop at the local park or coffee shop
coffee shops are where it's at
Maybe it is me but I've never been sitting in a coffee shop and seen anyone who wanted to be talked to. Headphones, laptops, doom scrolling.
Probably me, though.
different kind of coffeeshop : )
I feel that deep in my bones.
Way back in late December of 2006, I got invited to a community meetup for a forum that I was active in. It was in the north of Germany, about 600 km away from where I live but I had already met a few people in person, so I went. We were about 60 people, anywhere from 13 to 30 sharing a rented location for a week, building RPG Maker games, playing TTRPGs and Wii Sports, cooking for ourselves and celebrating the new year.
Since then, I've been there at the same location, every time that event was held. Usually twice a year, except during COVID. People came and went. The original organizers resigned in after the winter 2010/11 event because it had become too much work for them. A new team took over and in 2015 I was made part of that team. First as just one of many, then as second in command and eventually when the team lead left in 2019, I took his place.
The community has shrunk over time, many members are not active anymore because of their jobs, partners or children but I'm still holding on. Every summer and every winter, I take a train across my home country to give the 20-30 remaining guests a week where we can feel young and forget what happens in the outside world. In addition to that, I started an event closer to where I live. Kind of a woodlands retreat for 10-20 people over a long weekend in spring.
The team has shrunk to just my SO and me. I've been looking for someone who can help us or take over for us in case we can't make it. So far, I have found nobody. It is a hard and thankless job but I know if I give up I might never see some of my friends again, so I'm holding on as long as I can. As long as we are enough people to pay the rent for a location that has become a second home for most of us. I have sworn to make it at least to my 20th anniversary this coming winter, even if I have to pay everything out of my own pocket. After that, we'll see. I'm still hoping for a return of the old guard or an influx of new guests and maybe one of them is interested in learning how to do what I'm doing.
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(5 replies)
When i inv people they don't come
You have the planner and the nucleus. The nucleus is the person that everyone wants to hang out with, usually an extrovert with no planning skills. The planner and the nucleus are natural allies because they meet eachother's needs. So figure out who the nucleus of your group is, be good buds, and plan things out with them first so you know they can make it before you send out the invite.
Then when you send out the invite they'll reply all to say they're coming and everyone else will come. Some groups have multiple nuclei so that's a thing too.
Planner nucleus followers arrangement might make you feel unloved as the planner.... But it's just normal human social structures. Even Nazis had the same setup with Hitler and Goebel, Trump and Miller. Any group you look at has this structure! Secretly without the planner nobody gets to hang out at all so they're the real OG imo. A group with only nucleus-followers is a bunch of people who rarely meet and say "we should do this more often" and then don't.
I got lucky, our extrovert also has planning skills... Mostly, but good enough that a few of the rest of us can supplement on the details that get missed
If I have the spoons and money, I like to just host an outing for my friends. Plan it, pay for everything and drive. It's sweet to provide an experience that might not have happened without the effort.
Oof I feel I've been cursed on this front. Any events I try to plan have invariably had zero participation. A particularly rough one was when I tried asking 6 or so people to join me for a convention, 5 of them had (genuine) reasons for why they couldn't join, and the last one tried their best but almost as if by superstition, their phone died
It's gotten to the point where (in an admittedly superstitious manner) I ask people to plan events on my behalf, and inexplicably that ends up working
...fuh ... rinds? ...free unds?? What is that word? Oh, the TV show? What is this?
I was the planner for my friend group for the better part of a decade, and then I moved to a different country.
I'm still the planner for my biweekly Zoom call with my besties, which is going strong.
The other friends pretty rarely get together now. I told them someone had to take up the mantle, but nobody did.
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