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Anon is chased by lions (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 77 points 11 months ago

There is an app called “Zombies, run!” that literally uses the same idea, but with zombies instead of lions. It basically makes you listen to a story where you go looking for supplies and every so often, you get chased down by a horde of zombies and it uses your phone’s motion sensor to track whether you’re moving fast enough to escape them.

[-] olutukko@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago

This sounds fun got to try it :D

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 7 points 11 months ago

Yeah, but it doesn't make you think that you're actually being chased by zombies because you know you're not being. It's just a fun game. It's not going to increase testosterone levels. It's just about being healthy.

OP here is just been thick.

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 0 points 11 months ago

Well neither does imagining being chased by lions then. Unless you have really good imagination, I guess. But I imagine in that case, either would work.

[-] xantoxis@lemmy.world 46 points 11 months ago

I love when anons post "I'm going to put a giant magnet in front of my car to pull it forward without gas. Any scientific proof that it works?" as if they didn't just pull this bullshit directly out of their own schizophrenia.

[-] Nythos@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago

Schizo posting is the best kind of posting

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 6 points 11 months ago

Well, they do say that 2 heads are better than one

[-] AMillionNames@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

So a maglev train / magnetic crane? As far as ideas go, that one is not only possible, it is real and practical. When you get right down to it, electric cars are basically electricity creating magnetic forces to spin the drive shaft to pull the car forward without gas.

It isn't so much about schizophrenia than it is about trying to laugh about why its absurd and it won't work before trying to see where it would and why and where it might.

[-] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago

The funniest part of this is the title of the OP. "Lions chasing me." Tells you nothing about the actual post but makes it that much funnier

[-] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 9 points 11 months ago

I'm going to edit the post title to match this.

[-] quams69@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago

Why are total dipshits always obsessed with their t levels

[-] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

I really wonder about this. Where I live, there are near-constant "men's clinic" commercials, especially on the radio, and I'm just curious about how widespread a problem "low-t" actually is? Is basically every man over 30 struggling to get it up?

Or are these clinics just trying desperately to convince men that they need their services?

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 11 months ago

Because I have the only people who care.

[-] Chakravanti@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Because, for them it's really just a shirt.

[-] magnetosphere@kbin.social 15 points 11 months ago

I tend to think that the testosterone increase would come from absolute terror, and fleeing in panic, but OP will know that the lions roaring is only a recording. He’ll know he can stop if one of his shoes is uncomfortable, ffs. That changes the scenario a bit.

[-] Piemanding@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago

Maybe sounds that might actually happen around OP happening randomly and also realistic sounding. Like a car beeping right next to them or aggressive dogs right on their heel. Would probably only work for a bit.

[-] perviouslyiner@lemm.ee 9 points 11 months ago

there's a place in UK where you can stay next to the lion enclosure and they will walk past your bedroom window

[-] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Where abouts?

And having heard a lion's roar before... imagine waking up to that. Holy shit.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 11 months ago

Yeah but the zoo staff will kick you out in the morning when they find you in there.

[-] CluckN@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

The San Diego zoo has a big sign to prevent kids running by the cheetah cage because they get way too excited.

[-] Buddahriffic@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago

I can't help but wonder if that just makes things more boring for the cheetahs. Chasing things is something they probably really want to do.

[-] TomAwsm@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

A fight or flight response triggers adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisol. The latter being the stress hormone, which is highly catabolic. Sounds like the opposite of what anon wants.

[-] Kraivo@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Yeah, Rokki did it, but with eye of the tiger

[-] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Is that the Finnish Rocky?

[-] AMillionNames@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago

Just get a crazy ex-significant other near where you live, same thing. But that's going to raise your cortisol levels and drop your testosterone levels, the opposite of what green wants.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 3 points 11 months ago

Green is on 4chan. They're the one who is the crazy ex.

[-] Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago

When do lions roar? I personally wouldn't want to tip off a prey animal that I'm coming for them.

[-] Killing_Spark@feddit.de 0 points 11 months ago

I mean if the prey is already in full sprint it doesn't really matter does it?

[-] Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago

Shouldn't you focus on giving chase at that point?

[-] Killing_Spark@feddit.de 1 points 11 months ago

Nothing like a good battle cry to start off a chase

[-] Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago

That's true, I suppose.

[-] TexNox@feddit.uk 2 points 11 months ago

Op needs to wire his soundtrack up to an insulin pump filled with adrenaline. I'm thinking lift scene from crank + lions

this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2023
270 points (93.8% liked)

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