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edit: I showed my wife the comments on this post and she said "I like that everyone is agreeing with me."
I still love the monkey. Oh, and the wife.
I feel like this is the first of three posts that end with you needing the services of a shaman.
Yeah I hate it and not even going to show it to my husband, he would be looking to buy one.
I too love it. I would keep it on a stand next to the door and rub its head for luck.
In 3 years my wife would win it on the divorce (specifically because I would spend hours in the middle of the night rubbing its head and muttering to myself) and set fire to it in an act of rebellion.
The smoke released from the fire would take the form of a dark specter and haunt the world for 5000 years.
Or I would just keep it on the shelf and enjoy having something that I can tease my wife with. d:
Back in, like, the late '90s, these things were everywhere.
So to me they're just perfectly banal.
What exactly is it? And why were they ubiquitous in the 90s?
I grew up in the nineties and never saw one before this. Maybe it was regional?
I got it from Good Will. There are three things I got there that my wife hates and I love. I don't have an antagonistic relationship with her in general, but those three things were items I needed.
I'm willing to yield on almost everything else, but how can you say no to a creepy coconut monkey?
No
You're clearly a stronger person than I.
Personal preference over matrimonial harmony. It's a bit of a no-brainer, yes?
If I really thought this would upset my wife, I wouldn't have gotten it. I sometimes enjoy when we play the game of annoying each other, but if I thought something would genuinely upset her, I wouldn't do it. Teasing is fun for both participants. Actually being a jerk, less so.
You're an excellent spouse. Sorry for the over analysis.
Thank you for saying so. There is no need to apologize.
No.
Your wife is a wise woman.
You can keep it, but like in a closet 😁.
Pro tip: don't wish for things near it.
I have yet to show this to anyone who doesn't respond by calling it something equivalent to "cursed." That fact really makes me wonder about the original sculpturist.
I don't get everyone calling it cursed. It looks very cute to me. Lol
It IS the sculpturist...
I was trying to paste an image of The Simpsons Olmec head given to Bart as a gift from Mr Burns, it won't let me a glitch or maybe that saw this community works. Here's a clip. Never mind, the internet is so enshitified I can't get the clip, what the fuck is going on with the internet.
Do you work at a desk in an office? You can keep it there, and then if someone comes in to talk to you, you can lean in to the monkey as if to listen to its whispers, and say "Monkey doesn't like that idea!" Lean in again. "Monkey is getting upset! You should go now. Bad things happen when Monkey gets upset..."
Bonus points of you do a funny voice
You can keep it but you're gonna get cursed
Oh, of course. That's the point.
Nice, I look forward to viewing the found footage film once the spooky events start going down.
I feel like if it weren't for the teeth it would be bearable
Oh fuck i didn't notice the damn teeth....
She probably doesn't like it cause it looks like timothee chalamet. That's why I don't like it
Perhaps give it a baseball cap, a kids piano and some fancy lighting.
Or a manicure...💅
Well, there's no accounting for taste.
True, I could never account for why my wife seems to like me.
The wonky nostrils add character.
Wonky Nostrils new band name I called it
That looks cursed.
That's why she hates it! The teeth, especially, I think.
Yup, for me it's the teeth too. Without those it would be cute.
I showed my wife the comments and she said (among other things) that she agrees the teeth are the worst part. She doesn't like that they "don't look like teeth," they make it look like "a monkey who eats teeth."
Fuck that. With the teeth it can look goofy. Without, it would look absolutely diabolical!
I think it is cute, it is kind eyes.
Have you ever watched Trilogy of Horror?
I haven't.
Sorry, *Terror not Horror.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nMXo_moi5x8
Skip to the last 5 min of you want. Just reminds me of it for some reason.
Did the vendor's shop disappear once you went back to return?
No, they were just twenty feet to the left.
Oh, so then the well willing Good Will cashier gave you a warning, and told you to pick something else but you insisted, and now you're bound forever. What becomes of "it", shall become of you, kind of thing?
But do you love it because she hates it?
In part.
If it starts moving around at night, that's when you nope out.
Strongly agreed on that!
Splendid
