this post was submitted on 01 May 2026
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My wife hates this. I love it. (media.piefed.social)
submitted 22 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) by toynbee@piefed.social to c/pics@lemmy.world
 

edit: I showed my wife the comments on this post and she said "I like that everyone is agreeing with me."

I still love the monkey. Oh, and the wife.

top 43 comments
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[–] Drusas@fedia.io 1 points 57 minutes ago

Back in, like, the late '90s, these things were everywhere.

So to me they're just perfectly banal.

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 9 points 17 hours ago

Your wife is a wise woman.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

You can keep it, but like in a closet 😁.

Pro tip: don't wish for things near it.

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 4 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

I have yet to show this to anyone who doesn't respond by calling it something equivalent to "cursed." That fact really makes me wonder about the original sculpturist.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 19 hours ago

It IS the sculpturist...

[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 1 points 17 hours ago

I was trying to paste an image of The Simpsons Olmec head given to Bart as a gift from Mr Burns, it won't let me a glitch or maybe that saw this community works. Here's a clip. Never mind, the internet is so enshitified I can't get the clip, what the fuck is going on with the internet.

[–] Sergio@piefed.social 7 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Do you work at a desk in an office? You can keep it there, and then if someone comes in to talk to you, you can lean in to the monkey as if to listen to its whispers, and say "Monkey doesn't like that idea!" Lean in again. "Monkey is getting upset! You should go now. Bad things happen when Monkey gets upset..."

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 5 points 18 hours ago

Bonus points of you do a funny voice

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 14 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I got it from Good Will. There are three things I got there that my wife hates and I love. I don't have an antagonistic relationship with her in general, but those three things were items I needed.

I'm willing to yield on almost everything else, but how can you say no to a creepy coconut monkey?

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 11 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] toynbee@piefed.social 10 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

You're clearly a stronger person than I.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 0 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Personal preference over matrimonial harmony. It's a bit of a no-brainer, yes?

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 7 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

If I really thought this would upset my wife, I wouldn't have gotten it. I sometimes enjoy when we play the game of annoying each other, but if I thought something would genuinely upset her, I wouldn't do it. Teasing is fun for both participants. Actually being a jerk, less so.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 4 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

You're an excellent spouse. Sorry for the over analysis.

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 2 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Thank you for saying so. There is no need to apologize.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 10 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

You can keep it but you're gonna get cursed

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 10 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Oh, of course. That's the point.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 5 points 19 hours ago

Nice, I look forward to viewing the found footage film once the spooky events start going down.

[–] BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 5 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Perhaps give it a baseball cap, a kids piano and some fancy lighting.

Or a manicure...💅

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago

I feel like if it weren't for the teeth it would be bearable

[–] teslekova@sh.itjust.works 3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

The wonky nostrils add character.

[–] Gerblat@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

Wonky Nostrils new band name I called it

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 6 points 21 hours ago

She probably doesn't like it cause it looks like timothee chalamet. That's why I don't like it

[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 2 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

I think it is cute, it is kind eyes.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 5 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Well, there's no accounting for taste.

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 6 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

True, I could never account for why my wife seems to like me.

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] toynbee@piefed.social 5 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

That's why she hates it! The teeth, especially, I think.

[–] Aviandelight@mander.xyz 1 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

Yup, for me it's the teeth too. Without those it would be cute.

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 1 points 6 hours ago

I showed my wife the comments and she said (among other things) that she agrees the teeth are the worst part. She doesn't like that they "don't look like teeth," they make it look like "a monkey who eats teeth."

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 1 points 16 hours ago

Fuck that. With the teeth it can look goofy. Without, it would look absolutely diabolical!

[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

But do you love it because she hates it?

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 2 points 15 hours ago
[–] Tiral@lemmy.zip 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

If it starts moving around at night, that's when you nope out.

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 1 points 15 hours ago

Strongly agreed on that!

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Did the vendor's shop disappear once you went back to return?

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 3 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

No, they were just twenty feet to the left.

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 1 points 20 hours ago

Oh, so then the well willing Good Will cashier gave you a warning, and told you to pick something else but you insisted, and now you're bound forever. What becomes of "it", shall become of you, kind of thing?

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today 1 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Have you ever watched Trilogy of Horror?

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 1 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today 2 points 17 hours ago

Sorry, *Terror not Horror.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nMXo_moi5x8

Skip to the last 5 min of you want. Just reminds me of it for some reason.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 1 points 20 hours ago