What if…
You tried to sell your soul.
And god said…
“That is against our policy.”
tear
this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2026
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People have tried this for years. I had a friend that tried this back when ebay was new and you could sell nearly anything. No one bid on his piece of notebook paper with "The eternal soul of Jimmy _______" and ebay took it down without any explanation at all.
That being said, I also had a friend that tried to sell a bunch of stuff an Ex had left at her place, and she got a very personal email from someone at ebay that said something like "Don't be like this. Be better than this. Also, this violates our TOS, but really, you're better than him, gurl!"
But the whole point of the soul is that it's not a body part.
It's literally the defining characteristic of the soul, which differentiates it from the physical body, which rots once it's dead, while the soul presumably does not.
Yeah, bad mistake there. Also, you can buy allegedly haunted relics on eBay, so apparently it's cool as long as the soul has been laundered. What's the harshest non-slur word for stupid these days? Because this is that.
Sidebar, apparently you can also pay to have people cast spells for you. My favourite was a $100 service that allegedly involves a nine-witch coven spending hundreds of man hours to cast anything you wish. If that's not some kind of money laundering scam I'll be severely disappointed.
What’s the harshest non-slur word for stupid these days? Because this is that.
now now, don't be derogatory over a definitional issue. people of different cultural traditions define the soul differently. also i hear etsy has taken witch spells off the menu because of captain popsoff, but that might have been that specific coven having an oh shit did we actually do this moment. i bet you could place a personal on craigslist or something tho
eBay TOS as a 'cultural tradition' 🤣
That's the thing though, if that sort of magic worked it would be illegal.
maybe they stumbled on the secret combination of words and woo to make it work! we all have to try again at the next midseason!
laundered
💀💀💀
The soul is currently part of a body. And I guess if you're selling it for after it leaves the body eventually, it's a pre-order, and possibly also against the eBay policy?
That's Plato's viewpoint, Aristotle's is that soul and body are one, not separate.
Most philosophy about souls evolved from those two viewpoints and they are still valid concepts since we can't really know yet.
THE SOUL IS A FEATHERLESS BIPED!
It is still something a human needs to live, so in spirit I'd say it would be against ToS to sell it (presuming it was real, of course)
You gotta put it into something physical and sell that.
Major nostalgia, it was a simpler time.
If you are willing to pay for something most reasonable people agree does not exist, you should not be able to sue for fraud. Like if you buy a product called "literally snake oil" and get upset that it is literally snake oil, that's on you.
I expected oil derived from snakes or oil for lubricating snakes, if its not literal snake oil, I'm gonna ask for a refund.
Everyone needs a well lubricated snake now and again.
sniffs
This is Sam’s Club window cleaner
Snake oil was oil from snakes. Ok well it was advertised as such, the stuff in the bottle had never been a part of any reptile. Patent medicine was just like that, not only was it never what they said it was, what they said it was didn't do what they said it did.
not only was it never what they said it was,
Ok, so it wasn't actually oil made from snakes that they are selling.
what they said it was didn't do what they said it did.
So actual 'snake oil' (as in, oil made from snakes) doesn't do what they said their product does. But what their selling isn't actually oil made from snakes.
So does whatever they're actually selling, do what they're saying it does?
I don't think most people would agree souls don't exist... But they do act as if they know the truth.
After looking at a bunch of esoteric stuff and philosophy, I think the soul is just your conciseness.
It exists. No one knows how or why. It's a scientific mystery. And we all have it.
I'd just like to add I actually work with a product called 'snake oil'.
Its a lubricant and protective coating for drain snakes
One of my favorite things to do is peruse the haunted dolls on ebay. Authentically haunted. It gets complicated, but the website navigates the red tape really well.
eBay really said “either way, that’s illegal” and closed the case 😭
Next time put up a mason jar with a question mark painted on it, then sell the jar, which may or may not contain your soul.
This could be a movie starring Billy Conelly
What is the point of the hashtag here?
It's a Tumblr thing. You can't edit posts but you can add hashtags
You can edit posts, adding tags like that is done to provide commentary on the post that doesn't get attached to further reblogs (unless someone copies it into their own reblog addition like in the screenshot here)
Kris Deltarune trying to get rid of us.