And we're SURE this is real life? Really??? THIS is real life????
this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2026
147 points (96.8% liked)
Not The Onion
21194 readers
394 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Or is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality...
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies
And see
POUR some SUGAR on MEEEEEEEE!
OOH in the name of LOVE
What a stupid fucking timeline this is.
I hate this timeline so much
Who even knows anymore
Andrew Callaghan isn't conservative
Yeah that's some bs lol. I feel like he can be a little too 'centrist' a lot, but def not a conservative. Fwiw I saw him live and he was explicitly calling out right wing/fash "influencers".
Seems unfair. Two versus one?
I vote for Cornpop to be allowed to fight on Biden's side.
2v1 is the only way this fight could be fair. If hunter is ripping lines off a hookers ass he could take the entire family on at once.
I want to see him walk on stage, rip off his aviators in a dramatic fashion revealing another pair of aviators underneath, at which point he reaches into his suit jacket to pull out an entire brick of cocaine, which he proceeds to rip in half over his head with his bare hands.
At that point, he would shove his fists into each half of the cocaine brick and begin pummeling the ever living fuck out of both the other ass hats with his newly dusted knuckles.
That's true, the other two are never snowed to the gills
Every time I go to fact check this stuff because it has to be a joke it turns out to be true. I think I must be in the upside down.
There's no upside in this timeline.
Unfortunately you're in the timeline where you're a speck on a rock in a cauldron of fire within an interminable void. You know, the only timeline.
This wasn't on my 2026 bingo card.
Twas on mine! Almost there!
I know it isn't the story but how the fuck is Andrew Callaghan a "conservative commentator"?
Yeah dude WTF. I had to check if the kid that did All Gas, No Breaks was a maga asshole now.
It seems he is not, just doing the hear out both parts kinda thing. Worth having a whole discussion over the details, really.
But he does have SA allegations so that's not great.
When you hear out both sides in ways that they don't like, then each side refers to you as their slur for the other side.
Nah he's a genuinely good, journalist. He may be left-leaning but only in the context of our massively shifted overton window.
I wasn't aware of SA allegations. I thought he was called out for being pushy with someone, apologized, and then went to rehab because he realized he had a drinking problem. I may not know the full story
WTF, does the winner get to be crowned next King President?
That would be awesome actually
They can all afford legit healthcare, so IDGAF. Unless him winning gets Trump out of office and into a jail cell, IDGAF.
Place your bets now!
I bet it never happens.
Bwah god! That’s CM Pope’s music!! And he’s going right after Pete Heg!!!
All that once or one at a time. (Bruce Lee quotes from a movie.)
I heard there's some kind of event happening at the white house. Maybe they will be so gracious as to add them their event.
No, it was the Waffle House.
They can all go to prison for their crimes and they can then have cage matches every day.
"Idiot says idiot shit on idiot platform" ftfy
He's gotta watchout if they go for his jugular with their bonespurs.