this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2026
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memes

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[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That is not where the cone goes

[–] starik@lemmy.zip 51 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeah it goes around your mom’s neck

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

That doesn't make sense? She's way too fat to lick herself anymore?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Why did they give bro that speaker icon irl?

[–] funkajunk@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] silver@das-eck.haus 2 points 2 days ago

Handheld fetty wap, imagine what we could do with this technology

[–] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

After my vasectomy I stopped jacking off to the Teletubbies and started making my own NFTs featuring Mr Burns telling Smithers to suck his dick. Best decision I ever made, can't reproduce and I made a ton of money. It's a shame I didn't get to live to enjoy it all, 3 days ago I died from an overdose in a Walmart fitting room.

[–] AZX3RIC@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

What a ride.

[–] muxika@piefed.muxika.org 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's enough internet for me. Everybody, go home.

[–] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm already home, where should I go

[–] billybob@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago

You’re doing great!

How good is the internet connection in the afterlife?

[–] homes@piefed.world 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

So much easier just being gay, just sayin’

😛

edit: sorry, guys-- I shouldn't be joking about other men's balls 🤪

[–] SippyCup@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Venat0r@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

or trans women

[–] homes@piefed.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

sure... so do i... although, I'm guessing not for the same reasons you do 😁

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 10 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I'm going for mine next week. Can't wait!

[–] nightwatch_admin@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

No more happy little accidents?

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

No woman shall have my seed!

[–] nightwatch_admin@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

I hope the username won’t check out btw

Oh my god, I've been reading "I'm going for nine". Nine what? Children? Get a cone of shame you maniac!

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

it's a pretty mild procedure. Nerve wracking, but the pain level overall is quite low. I was more stressed than anything.

[–] prettybunnys@piefed.social 1 points 2 days ago

A coworker at happy hour told us he had to be fully anesthetized cuz despite being sedated and numbed his boys were still hyper responsive and would retract up against him every time the doctor started getting close lmao

[–] nevetsg@aussie.zone 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Dropping pants in front of the Dr and his female nurse was the most freaky part. But I quickly relaxed into it.
Make sure you bring one of those soft gel freezer bags to shove into your underwear for the trip home.

[–] mybuttnolie@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 days ago

the trip back is probably when i will be glad we have air suspension

[–] realitista@lemmus.org 4 points 2 days ago (3 children)

you're supposed to put it on the injured part

[–] LurkingLuddite@piefed.social 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Nah, cone of shame is always on the part that agitates the area. The vast majority of dogs/cats with a cone of shame didn't have surgery anywhere near their head.

[–] realitista@lemmus.org 2 points 2 days ago

You're right I'm an idiot.

[–] jjagaimo@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The cone prevents the grasper from touching the injured area

[–] Venat0r@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

nah it just needs to be effective at stopping the injurious behavior: it should be like a giant tutu to be effective...

[–] zigmus64@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Except that after about 48 hours or so, it’s on… gotta flush those pipes… I was told 30 ejaculations before I needed to go in and provide a sample to verify sterility.