this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2026
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Slop.

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For posting all the anonymous reactionary bullshit that you can't post anywhere else.

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Eighteen weirdos show up. A mix of liberatarians, crypto rubes, and one guy in a confederate flag fursuit. Immediately get turned away by a single unarmed and elderly security guard. They have to call an ambulance when two members experience breathing difficulty and arrythmia.

We did it.

Stolen from the comments on true anon.

top 24 comments
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[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 23 points 6 hours ago

like all things New Hampshire it will be voluntarily self-funded so it will end up being somebody carrying a printed "sovereign citizen license" driving a cargo conversion van with bald tires and a vinyl sponsorship decal from a used car lot.

the van will overturn on the highway and all six passengers will be dead from not wearing seatbelts.

live free or die, probably.

[–] reaper_cushions@hexbear.net 19 points 6 hours ago

Pairing camouflage with probably the most visible clothing item possible is certainly a choice.

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 6 points 5 hours ago

Desperately needs to be shoved into a locker.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 30 points 7 hours ago

I love how they had to use AI to pretend they look cool, but in the AI slop they still look like a bunch of 50 year-old accountants who get mad at cartoons.

[–] TheoryofChange@hexbear.net 18 points 7 hours ago

I'm always morbidly curious what horrific string of idiotic phrases was fed into the burn the Amazon algorithm to create such slop. (Though never enough to investigate lol)

[–] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 5 hours ago

Tbh I don't care about New England, they can go crazy for all I care as long as they stay out of NY

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 4 points 5 hours ago

“Listen here tyrants! Leave my god porky alone! I will be an 80 hour a week volunteer, own nothing and BE HAPPY! You mess with porky, you mess with ME!”

[–] Johnny_Arson@hexbear.net 10 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 9 points 6 hours ago

Welcome to to*

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 15 points 7 hours ago (4 children)

How are they planning to use a shield and a rifle at the same time lmao. Are they aware rifles are a two-handed weapon?

yeah they should be using bucklers, those fools

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 15 points 6 hours ago

Along those lines: the biden-megamind power of the camo print paired with the high-contrast, heh, Cross hair to aim for is really something...

[–] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 14 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Warplock Jezzails ready, yes-yes!

[–] fannin@hexbear.net 1 points 1 hour ago

Kill things! All things!

[–] purpleworm@hexbear.net 12 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Maybe they can plant the shield on the ground and prop the rifle on it. Not a good use of the rifle, but it's somewhat physically possible.

[–] Frivolous_Beatnik@hexbear.net 20 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Chuds larping as AR-armed crusaders using late-medieval-to-renaissance-era Genoese pavise and crossbow tactics?

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 5 points 5 hours ago

Literal medieval peasant brained, superstitious and fiercely loyal to whoever they deem as “their” nobility.

[–] isame@hexbear.net 6 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

That's kind of how I assumed it would go. I've never fired a rifle. I assume you couldn't rest the barrel on the top of the shield while standing or walking (think like a spear). My further assumption is you'd get one shot like that, a broken wrist and maybe a broken nose. But I'm not a gun person at all.

[–] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 9 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)
[–] Big@hexbear.net 9 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

No way they're able to shoot those guns one-handed while also dragging around a medieval shield.

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 3 points 3 hours ago

shooting them is fine one handed it's the aiming that's hard and the aiming a follow-up shot that's molasses

[–] Wakmrow@hexbear.net 6 points 7 hours ago

I mean... You can shoot them...

[–] deforestgump@hexbear.net 11 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

When? I want to be there to document this historic moment.

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 14 points 7 hours ago

Is your age a prime number? If not then sorry, that's the rule outlined by Rep. Farrington.