Ask Lemmy

It depends on who's asking.

Generally I like to tell what's on my mind. Or, if I say stuff is fine, I'll explain what I've been doing lately.

I'm not a person who avoids difficult topics so it's kinda natural for me to answer "more honestly".

I'm usually asked this at work, so my go-to response is, "Well, I'm here." Which most seem to understand.

My go-to is the ol Lebowski quote, "Strikes and gutters, ups and downs"

In German, we say "shitty would be bragging".

I'm alright, just a little tired.

You could pretend you're in letterkenny. That's kind of fun.

"HowAreYaNow?"

"Good,andyou?"

"Notsuhbad."

It's just a dialog check to get through. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZAz_MROU2I

"My life is falling apart, and things somehow seem to keep getting worse with each day that passes. So, you know, just living the dream."

Or if you want to keep it brief, "Pretty sure I must have pissed somebody off in another lifetime."

This is going to come off with a heavy “if life gives lemons” vibe, but over time it does work. Where I went to college, there was a day every year, I think during Fall or Spring, where everyone greeted everyone. Nobody made a big production about it, just a simple, “hi” or “what’s up.” Weird thing is it had a tendency to keep going beyond the day. Most people only did it on the day, but a surprising number of people kept doing it outside of that. Including me, eventually! I still make an effort to be nice to people, and I trace it back to that. No, it doesn’t magically make my day better, but it’s one nice thing that happened. Plus, over time it helps me see/appreciate even small positives, which helps keep me from getting too weighted down by the bad stuff.

Don’t mean to trivialize the bad stuff in your life, OP. I do hope you’re able to manage it, and not let it beat you down. When I started college, I was a pretty negative person. While I wouldn’t call myself “sunny” all these years later, I do see a big difference in my general outlook compared to younger me.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jwn3X1nv_NI (CW: Cutting)

Caleb Stine, there's no harm in being crazy

There's no harm in being crazy
If you learn how to hide it, at just the right times
And we're all a little lonely
You just can't let it on at the check out lines
When they ask you how you're doing you just gotta say, "fine."

High. How're you?

With a smile I say, "It's there."

In Finnish we have a phrase "ei kurjuutta kummempaa" which is said in a happy, jolly way and its usually accepted as "not great but I don't want to expand on it." It translates to "nothing worse than misery."

just say "not well" if you are not well. if they dont care, then what do you care what they think.

personally i find it degrading to pretend everything is fine if things are not fine.

Like this.

Hanging in..

The horrors persist, but so do i.

"Vertical."

I find this question quite fascinating: Culturally, there are countries where this gets asked indeed as a form of greeting, not a genuine question.

In Slavic countries, I feel like if you get asked this question, it's generally considered to be of genuine interest, and you'll get a genuine reply. Nothing offensive or informal about saying "Things are bad." or "I feel bad.", or any variant of such.

This might be my perception however, and feel free to correct me. I myself think that if someone asks how I'm doing, I have no need or responsibility to "remain positive/pleasant".

"Oof. It's Monday."

hangin in there! *sigh of whatever length feels appropriate for how close I am to falling*

"Hangin' in there" is what I generally use when I'm not fine but I know it's just a greeting. It conveys that things are less than fine, but not by how much, and that I'm still functioning.

Some other, more flippant ones: "As well as can be expected", a shrug and a "meh", "Too early to tell" (if it's first thing in the morning / just arriving to work), "Sitting up and taking nourishment", etc.

You can even skip answering at all, and move directly to the response greeting, "Hey, how are you?"

“I’ve been better” is my go to

I've been taught that just means "hi," so I respond "good," which also means hi.

An old gaming buddy suggests

"Peachy"

Adjust your tone of voice to suit the day.

"Existing!" and then usually they pause and we talk about something else.

"Great!"

"Alright, you?"

"Living the dream."

"Another day in paradise."

"One day closer to death."

Depending on my mood

"Eh, tired.", usually.

People tend to get it. They're probably tired too.

-- Frost

I like to use lines from Country + Western songs.

"I'm another day older and deeper in debt." 16 Tons.

"I killed a man in Reno, just to see him die.' "Folsom Prison Blues.'

You get the idea.

Joke answers that, while untrue, make me smile when I respond.

"Happier than a possum up a pant leg."

"Busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger."

"Going crazier than a shit-house rat." is my favorite but not always cromulent.

I'm here is an answer. If you deflect you also get your point across.

Sometimes I ignore the question and just move on in conversation. Most people don't even notice because they're asking out of habit, not to actually ask you how you're doing.