Wait! He isn't dead! Shia Surprise! There's a gun to your head, and death in his eyes
this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2026
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Nobody tied the people to the tracks. They were born there. The track was built through their native land.
So you killed a person to stop more people from being killed huh... 🤔
You killed the person responsible, not a random unrelated person.
Fuck Jerry, he was a murderous asshole.
His family was kidnapped and they would be killed if he didn’t tie those people to the track. His wife was pregnant. With twins!!!
That one scooby doo meme where they uncover the sheet to discover it's utilitarianism.
Sometimes....
People die when they are killed. That's the way things should be.
Wait! He isn't dead, Shia Surprise!
The people in the trolley problem aren't necessarily tied to the track. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The premise is only true if people, or even animals, never get hit by trolleys unless they are tied to the tracks. But we know this not to be the case.
Yeah! They can also be pushed!
If I had a time machine I’d go to a bunch of concerts then kill the assholes who decided to plant grain.
You'd have to make infinite trips. Someone is going to do it eventually. Now, change the environment so they CAN'T grow grain. Or do something to prevent a perfect setup for the abundance of oil creation. Make it so people can't do what they're going to do when they find things.
Or just nudge the asteroid and then there’s just another 65 million years of dinosaurs.
Just gives them a bit longer, they were eventually on the way out, or evolving. But it will make things rougher for the mammals who found a sudden niche to fill.
Hmm, yes. As the holy texts say: “In the beginning the universe was created. This has made many people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad idea.”
Existences was a mistake.
you can always un-exist, i'm not stopping you
The problem is that I would already have existed, so the damage is done.
If I had a time machine, I'd go back and start planting grain earlier.
As long as I don’t have to obey property laws or wake up early or wear pants.
I'll explicity forbid pant wearing for agrarian society.
What if I want to be a hunter-gatherer, trading game meat, wild fruit, and psychedelics for trinkets and booze? Will I have to wear pants then?
I think maybe if you're gonna be running around through the brush and fighting wild animals, you might want to wear some for protection, but I ain't forcin' you.
I ain’t forcin’ you
You are automatically better than every government that has ever existed.
Without civilization, there would be nobody to judge civilization, either.
I recently heard a science popularizer like Neil deGrasse Tyson or maybe Brian Cox talking about tangents to the Fermi Paradox. Essentially, even if intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe, it's possible that we're the only scientifically advanced intelligent civilization in the Milky Way galaxy. As long as we don't know otherwise, it's not a terrible assumption.
But anyways, if we do happen to be the only intelligent civilization in the Milky Way, it's quite a responsibility. It's a shame that we seem to be racing towards our own doom. We should be doing whatever we can to save our civilization. Of course, it may be that most civilizations that reach this point destroy themselves.
Why is that a responsibility? I didn’t ask to exist. What the hell do I owe the universe?
I guess if you tend to look at things scientifically, you are more likely to see it as a responsibility. Humans are something that came about in the universe, and we are trying to learn about the universe. Another way of saying that is that we are the universe trying to learn about itself.
Of course, otherwise, even if you didn't ask to exist, it's quite presumptuous of you to make that decision for everybody else. If you're going to judge civilization for bringing about your situation, it seems hypocritical for you to think it's okay to make a different decision unilaterally.
Most humans could not give two shits about the universe.
I respectfully disagree. Humans are a part of the universe, and they care about themselves.
And yet points at every chance humans have had to not kill themselves and learn more about the universe and every time they keep fighting over fractions of a dot
I have bad news for you. Lots and lots of people decided to plant grain independently, most times for the booze.
Okay but only for booze.
Make it compulsory for all grain farmers to get so plastered all the time that they're physically incapable of raising the population density.
For all we know there have been many such peoples. They probably weren't the best record keepers, either.
Clearly not enough of them to stop the population density increasing though - so the limit wasn't sufficiently well enforced. I suspect several of them just got a wee bit tipsy but were sill able to get it on.
Double-tap.
now only another just one person owns the means of production (killer plunger, and presumably rope) for violence