A wife massage with no funny business may often turn into a yes funny business massage, but only if the no funny business part goes well. And even then not always. But it's always a good idea to take the no funny business part seriously. The worst possible outcome is that she just has a better day instead.
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Agreed. As an equally confused human as this OP, I think it’s about choice, luck, trust and possibly solar flares.
I too blunder through this world pretending I have an understanding of my wife of 20+ years and just opt to get excited when the light turns green.
I knew a woman that would declare, early on in a relationship, that she didn't want any funny business ever but would very much want funny business a month later. I always assumed it was to filter out people that were only after funny business, or to gauge how their partner respects consent. Granted its not the same dynamic as in the OOP.
I have an MBA in funny business
So you are useless at it?
That callout physically made me wince. Collateral damage.
Human doesn’t understand the full breadth and implications of a situation until it has entirely elapsed. More news at 11
Surprise funny business is better than rain-check funny business
*neurotypicals
Wdym?
NTs are allergic to direct communication, often obscuring their wants/needs/feelings for no good reason.
There are significant benefits to indirect communication that far outweigh the benefits of direct communication. This concept is best captured by Douglas Adams in the famous
"Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different race and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation."
Listen Im neurodivergent I'm not mentally defective, you don't need to explain the benefits of indirect communication to me. Rather I think some neurotypicals need the benefits of direct communication explained to them.
There's a time and a place for everything. I'm not saying we should all talk like robots all the time. I'm saying NTs lean too heavily on one style and get pissy when people can't read their mind.
I'm saying NTs lean too heavily on one style and get pissy when people can't read their mind.
We as a species evolved to rely heavily on indirect communication. It's natural to us to the point of subconsciousness. And it works in most of the cases.
So I wouldn't say NT rean too heavily on that.
With that said, I agree, that accommodation should be needed for disabled people even though they're a minority - as we do for handicapped, for example.
Considering that miscommunication and misunderstanding are a common occurrence for practically everyone I would have to disagree. I've seen it end plenty of friendships over the years. In pretty much every case, if either party was willing to just speak clearly and directly it could have been resolved easily.
I can only speak for the US, but it really seems like we don't have that shared, intuitive language anymore. People are so different due to myriad of reasons to a point that it disrupts that intuitive communication. I know this is true because if I travel to a country with a more cohesive intuitive language, like India for example, it's actually a lot easier for me to understand that indirect communication because it's more consistent between people.
Coz direct communication has never ended relationships? Dont make me laugh
My second most despised neurotypical behavior is when people put words in my mouth and then accost me for things I never said
You didnt say it with those words, but you implied that direct communication doesnt hurt relationships like indirect commumication (or else your argument would make no sense), which I strongly disagree with.
I should probably also clarify how my comment was meant as you evidently take things literally. By sarcastically saying "direct communication hasnt ended relationships" I wasnt saying "your argument is invalid because direct communication also hurts relationships", I was implying it is worse in that regard, which is the opposite of your argument.
I most definitely did not imply that because I'd never say that direct communication doesn't or can't end relationships and I'd push back on anyone suggesting that. I also already stated quite clearly that there is a time and place for every style of communication. So you've managed to demonstrate my prior point about indirect communication, then managed to restate what I already said, all the while convinced we're in disagreement based on something I did not say, despite the fact that everything I actually did say is in agreeance with what you said.
I am so tired.
Thats not what I was trying to say, I wrote "you implied it doesnt hurt relationships like direct communication" (as in 'to the same extent'), not unlike direct communication.
You are right, we agree on many points on this matter. My comment was probably unnecessarily mocking. What I was disagreeing with you on was that Neurotypical people generally rely too much on indirect communication. Many people rely on it too much and many people dont use it enough imo.