this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2026
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[–] undeffeined@lemmy.ml 75 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 60 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 58 points 2 months ago (1 children)

send koozie picture imediately

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 62 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 63 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] kwarg@mander.xyz 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I got a dog named Koozie and my neighbor Darell is obsessed with him. He sends me texts when he is drunk...

[–] Qey@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] piranhaconda@mander.xyz 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
[–] Qey@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

send koozie picture imediately

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

We did it Lemmy!

[–] Winter_Oven@piefed.social 35 points 2 months ago

our king 👑

[–] redwattlebird@thelemmy.club 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That photo has a really nice composition

[–] imjustmsk@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The photographer composed the image meticulosuly to artistically foreshadow the deep emotions by using physical barriers as a frame within a frame, A marvellous inception of frames sharpening the focus into the subject portraying loneliness. 

Thanks for reading the bullshit I just made up. 

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I love Artspeak, it's the peak of bullshit. Remember those essay questions on tests? The people that were really good at them, grew up to write the description in art gallery brochures.

I remember stumbling into a Robert Ryman exhibit of his minimalist white paintings, with a friend who was an artist. We were amazed at the bullshit descriptions of his paintings, which were nothing but white squares (I will go to my grave convinced he was a fraud) The writer was particularly excited that they were painted on aluminum instead of canvas - MIND-BLOWING! They were still just white squares. That's not art, no matter how many syllables you throw at it.

As my friend said: An artist primes his canvas white, and says, "Okay, I'm ready to start painting." This guy primes his canvas, stands back to look at it, and says "Welp, I'm done!" and cracks a beer.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is it called ArtSpeak?

I just call it the bullshit box

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I kind of made that up, but it seems like that style of language should have a name. I declare it Public Domain, have at it.

[–] imjustmsk@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Make it open-source will ya

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

So you think he referred to the dog as king, or the neighbor for responding with the picture?

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 58 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I assume he meant the dog, the tone of his texts are not those of someone speaking to their king

[–] Septimaeus@infosec.pub 14 points 2 months ago

Well said, my liege.

[–] Lisk91@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 months ago

Ofc the dog.

[–] MilitantAtheist@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

HERESY! THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

[–] AffineConnection@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

He just wants you to show him your koozie.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

I can see that.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Pugs are a perfect representation of how humanity views the Earth.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I vocally judge every english bulldog and pug owner and only recant if they were a rescue.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My wife tries to show me TikTok videos of pugs saying, "Isn't it cute?"

No, it's not cute. Its entire existence is suffering and the breeder needs to be in jail for animal abuse.

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What if there was an alien race with a lifespan that was eight times as long as ours, would they be able to breed the human equivalent of pugs?

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

We fuck and we got genes. You can play with us.

[–] KingOfTheCouch@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

And if you objectively look at every other animal on the planet and then look at humans... how are we not pugs of our genetic family tree?

Fuckin' humans and our weird ass pointy noses and bulbous heads. We are weird.

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Poor dog looks extremely overweight. How anyone could see a picture like that and think it's cute and not alarming is beyond me.

[–] seatwiggy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago

It's a pug. The genetic breathing problems are already alarming.

Babies have rolls like that, it sets off the same pleasure in my brain as seeing a cute pudgy baby.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com -4 points 2 months ago

Imagine what state the owner is in

[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 5 points 2 months ago

The bestest boy

Glory to his house

[–] Foni@piefed.zip 2 points 2 months ago

Okay, let's start the conversation by clarifying the situation

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Except that it not a dog, it is a pug.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

They are perfectly named. If I'd never seen one, and someone told there was a dog called a Pug, that's pretty much exactly what I'd picture in my mind. Just a fat little sausage.

There will be fighting in the afterlife about who gets to reincarnate as Koozie.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 1 points 2 months ago

The only acceptable way for a man to drunk text a woman.

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