this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2026
357 points (99.2% liked)

Not The Onion

20754 readers
1390 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 45 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] clav64@lemmy.world 85 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Convicted. Not even 'alleged' or 'accused', and these are the same party who are scared people are coming over on plastic dingys to cause harm. This guy's and actual predator.

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago

Which means their vetting process probably knew about it but let it pass.

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

who scares their base so they can drum up xenophobia*

[–] charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works 45 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Wow, what a picture of a human. It really is the ones you most expect.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Nosferatu-looking motherfucker.

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 35 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 36 points 3 days ago (1 children)

He's a paedo, yes, but do we know for sure that he's also racist?

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 20 points 3 days ago

Well he joined the reform party so the racism is implied.

The hate for brown people all depends on age, if they are older than about 15 then yes, he hates them completely.
However if they are younger than 15 then no, he realllllly likes them. The younger they are the more he wants to 'come into contact with his constituents'.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (2 children)

What the fuck is up with all of the fucking kid touchers in positions of power?

Eh, I guess the behavior is sort of aligned.

[–] TronBronson@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

If your gonna fuck kids you gotta get yourself above the law!

[–] ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The right love their nonces.

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 days ago

It's like so many other things. I'm not saying everyone on the right is <insert racist/pedophile/sexist/etc> but I guarantee you if you find me a <racist/pedophile/sexist/etc> they vote for the party on the right.

[–] devolution@lemmy.world 23 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I swear to God conservatives are all fucking pedos.

[–] liuther9@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

There is no god though

[–] myrmidex@belgae.social 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Starmer also appointed a pedo buddy, I wouldn't clear non-conservatives that easily.

[–] Zombie@feddit.uk 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That assumes the leader of the Red Tories isn't a conservative... He's certainly not a progressive!

[–] myrmidex@belgae.social 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

For the average lemming, every politician seems conservative too :)

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 days ago

crime, morality and “law and order”

When they use those words, they don't mean what anyone else means by them.

Crime: whatever Nige doesn't like.

Morality: whatever Nige doesn't like.

Law and Order: keeping the proles subdued.

None of those will be applied to those in power.

[–] Loce@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Uk just wants to repair the relationship with the USA

[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Of course they do, because the US is so much younger than the UK

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

250 years vs. 319 years. Not as much of a gap as you might think.

[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well crap, we’re not sexy to them at all.

[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago

69 sexy, though...

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 17 points 3 days ago

Denny had previously been convicted of possessing indecent images of children. The offence led to a community order and his placement on the Sex Offenders Register for five years . It was not a minor regulatory breach or an administrative oversight. It was a sexual offence involving children.

Those things aren't forever? Huh.

[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The Reform UK party has had this sort of thing happen over and over, where, despite them saying that they have the highest moral standards, one of them turns out to be a very immoral person. Usually they're caught saying something incredibly racist.

LBC's James O'Brien recently imagined that their entire interview and vetting process must consist of only one question, "Are you a wrong'un?"

[–] ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

has had this sort of thing happen

You say this like they just have bad luck. They're actively making these choices.

[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 0 points 2 days ago

Yes, it's ironic speech.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 12 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Paedophiles makes me wonder if we should bring back branding as a punishment.

Clearly any register you need to manually go and look up the person is too easily missed, but a brand on a shoulder would not be overlooked as easily.

[–] fistac0rpse@fedia.io 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

forehead is much more visible

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 8 points 3 days ago

Yeah, but I don't want to force them further into crime to be able to survive.

That is bad for society, I'd rather make sure that they would be able to feed themselves and not causing any more trouble.

The brand would still be easy to check.

[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 0 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 days ago

As I said in an earlier comment, that would just isolate them further from society, forcing them into further crime to survive.

I'd rather they are able to feed themselves and contribute to society than to be a further drain on resources.

[–] NauticalNoodle@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 days ago
[–] toofpic@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

What a style! So classy that you immediately see he's a British convicted paedophile, not just any convicted paedophile!

[–] scuppie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 days ago

Cannot believe they didn't do a background check on Malcolm Tucker's estranged nephew.

[–] SpicyLizards@reddthat.com 5 points 2 days ago

If any face was punchable, this is one. At least it's got the proppa pedo look

[–] Plurrbear@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Why does this douche look like his mom picked his clothes out for picture day and no other thoughts are rolling around up in his head… lol!?

[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I guess they figure if pedos get elected in Murica, why not in the UK?

[–] NorskSud@piefed.social 5 points 3 days ago

Isn't that a requirement?

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

JFC, that guy looks creepy. Forget the pedo thing just for a second, just that face. I'm really not sure what it is, but it's off and it creeps the hell out of me. This guy is a psychopath at least. Now add the pedo thing back and the picture makes sense, and yeah, what the fuck Is happening here?

[–] BlackRoseAmongThorns@slrpnk.net 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Cover the bottom half of the face, this man isn't smiling using his eyes.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 1 points 8 hours ago

Yeah, I've seen that before with psychopaths that I know, they have the same creepy smile and the things they say... Holy fuck.

[–] ccunix@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well at least he wasn't chosen as President

[–] rmpbklyn@lemmy.org 1 points 2 days ago

don't, youll have another Epstein like cult