American warships
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The Season of the Witch, although that might get into B movie territory. But it does have Nic Cage and Ron Perlman. The main thing I remember is that every other actor had a British accent to fit the setting of medieval Britain, but Nic Cage and Ron Perlman make no effort to do so
Freddy Got Fingered by far is the worst movie I have ever seen
Wonder woman 1984 really is as bad as everyone says. It isnt even funny bad
Holy, i think i watched at least part of that movie and i don't remember anything
Sausage party. Utterly disgusting movie.
I got a bunch of free DVDs and among them was Van Hellsing (2004)
I didn't remember anything about it other than the scene where the horse carriage goes over a cliff and then explodes so I thought it'd be funny to watch it with my partner.
Man, this wasn't even a "so bad it's good" kinda film, it was genuinely fucking awful. I could've forgiven a lot of it but it was waaaaaay too long for what it was. Something like 130 minutes? Could've been an hour max.
Runner up: Repo: The Genetic Opera, but I still liked it.
Throwing tomatoes at you for your bad Repo take.
The Ladykillers, a 2004 remake of a 50's comedy about a heist, noteworthy for being the single worst movie I've ever seen Tom Hanks in. Saw it in theaters with my family as a kid and it was the only movie we ever saw together that we unanimously hated, we still reminisce together occasionally about how much it sucked.
That's a Coen brothers movie too, somehow
Playing with the concept of bad "actual movies" Woody Allen's stuff does not age well at all. I remember people used to speak highly of artistry but the films are suffused with a deep misogyny that convince me that he is guilty of the things he is obviously guilty of.
I think if his halo hadn't fallen off people would still be talking up his movies and I can't really see why.
Everything that comes to mind is too much of a B movie (like the God's Not Dead movies after 3), but now I'm just thinking about that Movie Mindset episode that made me feel physically ill just from the descriptions of what was depicted. I don't remember who the director was, but it was a baroque level of gore and body horror to the point that it just seemed like gorn. I was kind of out of it, so that might have exaggerated my reaction.
Oh, The Matrix Resurrections. I'm convinced it was deliberately engineered to try and destroy interest in continuing the franchise for as long as possible.
Eragon. It was absolute dogshit. I saw it when it came out because my friends and I liked the books (we were young, don't judge), and while we were expecting trash, it was even worse. Nothing about that movie was good. Total drivel.
Tbe first Cloverfield
Sum of all fears
Eye in the sky
I watched a lot of bad movies but thor: love and thunder was literally impossible to finish
i finished it because i was in bed, but that was bad even for capeshit
That movie was so weird that i thought it was some sort of a joke. Like when you watch a porn parody and only realize when they start fucking.
it felt almost like that one time when I tried to watch a movie in high fever, except I did not have high fever
Battlefield Earth has already been brought up twice, so I guess I'll throw my hat in the ring with Cabin Boy, the Chris Elliot/Andy Richter/Brian Doyle-Murray mess that was supposed to launch Elliot's film career as a leading comic actor, a la Jim Carrey or Tom Green. Apparently Tim Burton was involved in the early stages of the project, but bowed out to do Ed Wood, leaving the production crew with, well, yeah. Like the 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie, it is certainly one of the movies of all time.
Maximum Overdrive (1986), in terms of falloff... how the hell do you peak in the intro with horrific dark comedy only to end up with a boring grueling mess later on...
Reminder to not adapt your own stories into films on your farts, let alone cocaine, ahem Stephen King...
I like that movie so much. Not because it's good, but because it's a Stephen King movie, it's a movie he also directed. People had such high expectations, because now there is nothing in between his vision and the final product. And it's like a big fuck you to everyone who takes Stephen King serious.
Also, maybe don't have goddamned fucking AC/DC do the score for your 3-hour epic adapted from a 6-page short story. Even Peter Jackson didn't fuck up that badly with the Hobbit cash grab.
Battleships
Has anyone watched The Greasy Strangler? I have it sitting in my library for a moment when I'm feeling reckless.
it sits on the line between 2010s hipster ironic shit and just actual shit.
it's supposed to feel like Tim and Eric meets John Waters, I think, but it doesn't apporach either unfortunately. the grossouts aren't awful enough, the kitsch isn't kitschy enough and the surrealism isn't surreal enough to really get anywhere.

I guess it's "interesting" to watch in the age of netflix greenscreen storebrand movie products though. it's certainly different
also one character does a Jodorowsky impression at one point I think, and it's not really acknowledged at all
If we exclude B class, then it's hands down War of the Worlds (2005). And it's not even about usually wooden presence of Tom Cruise, but at about half movie i totally forgotten that it even was "War of the Worlds" and instead i sleeped on the "Piece of Wood and His Hysterical Daughter on the Run From Who Knows What". I seriously sleeped and it wasn't even evening.
it was the decade where all american movies had to remind you that 9/11 happened
Only movie I ever left angry was The Hobbit. Never saw the other two.
Most slop I'm fine with. I watched all of the Starship Troopers direct to dvd sequels, even the "one level above Reboot" animated ones. I've seen all of M Night Shyamalan's films. But The Hobbit got me right in the amygdala in a bad way.
edit: Oh I thought of another one: Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Plantasm. The first Aqua Teen movie is a stoner comedy classic along with most of ATHF's first run, but this film and the tv revival that followed it are dogshit.
Never saw the other two.
Oh the second one is so much worse.
Never saw the third.
Never saw the third.
the third one is by far the worst movie I've ever seen
I had suppressed the memory, thanks for surfacing it otherwise my answer would have been something like "Star Wars Episode IX" which isn't nearly as bad
A nameless 2000s trash "comedy" that figured in the first minute the main character getting a blow job in a bathroom stall that was followed up by a close up of the girl's mouth with a giant zit on it
I turned it off, snapped the disk and returned it like that to the Redbox
Limiting myself just to theatrical experiences: Jurassic Park 3 is the only movie I walked out of. My friends bought me a ticket to see Legion, which is the only reason I sat through the whole thing.
Worst arthouse movie I've seen, probably El Topo. God, the smug film bro assholes I went to college with who praise this piece of shit. Nothing but sexual violence and animal abuse.
Some that come to mind:
- Mother!
- Waiting
- Box
- Rock Star
- Gotti
- Taken
- Garden State
- White Man’s Burden
Rock Star

Despite this being a Mark Wahlberg-ized version of the Tim "Ripper" Owens story (whose post-Judas Priest credits include doing a stint with antisemitic banking conspiracy nutjob and recently-pardoned January 6th rioter Jon Schaffer's band, Iced Earth), this piece of shit movie did have one high point: Zakk Wylde doing a cover of Rainbow's "Long Live Rock and Roll." And ex-Dokken bassist Jeff Pilson, too, who played with Dio on a couple of albums during his post-Sabbath Dehumanizer phase.
Thank you for coming to my
talk.
Mother!
respect. really made me reevaluate Aronofsky's whole oueve. dude is such a fucking hack (Whale sucked too).
Garden State
you had to be there
Ooh, that's a tough one. Personally, I'd have to go with Airwolf: The Movie (1984). It's a real piece of shit. It's one of those hilariously pro-American things, the main "good guys" are an absurdly heroic Vietnam vet and the mf'ing CIA director. And the bad guys are just some generic middle eastern people, because of course they are. And that's just the movie's terrible politics, it's just a shitty movie all around. Cringeworthy acting, completely stupid script, cheap special effects, forced romance subplot... just bad all around.
The sad thing is, when I was a kid, it was one of my favorite TV shows. I don't specifically remember the movie, but I'm sure I loved it. I thought the helicopter was the coolest thing ever. Seeing it again as an adult, I realize it's just a regular boring TV news chopper with a black paint job and some fake cardboard guns glued on. This fucking movie has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, it's just a godawful propaganda flick.
Avatar: The Last Airbender was rough...
But the one I fell asleep watching in the theatre was the new Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
It takes more than incompetence to fuck up that story with that cast. It takes sheer fucking force of will to drop the ball that hard.
It's actually violence that those movies are 16 and 21 years old, respectively. I am not old, I am not unc, I am still hooked into the zeitgeist!