Fake: two lawn chairs? In this economy?
Gay: went back to a guy’s apartment where there’s literally nothing else to do
this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2026
466 points (100.0% liked)
Greentext
8147 readers
414 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
n_n
What an asket. Wonder what his bank account looks like - is he paying off some kind of debt, or does he have ten thousand dollars saved? Maybe goes to a casino or a prostitute every couple of weeks? So many possibilities.
Could easilly just be paying for porn, smoking, and drinking.
EDIT: I forgot the gambling. I remember seeing somewhere that the average impoverished American(or family?) spends $600 a month on lotto tickets. Hopefully that was just part of a nightmare I had.
Doesn't really sound like he's doing much drinking, if we assume that he (or OOP) isn't just lying. If he spent it all in bars he probably wouldn't say that he just jerks off to porn and goes to sleep when he's not working, and if he was drinking at home it would definitely be visible in such an empty apartment.
Porn and smoking ... I guess it's possible to spend that much money on that.
Sounds like rural, small town factory to me. Guy may just be barely making by
Weird, that kind of thing should let you live a pretty decent life where I live. We don't have the US' absurd health care system, though.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
I respect a bro powerleveling his finances.
Alimony
Lies. Dudes like that don't own a second chair.
One of the chairs doubles as a table for the chicken sandwiches.
Has got to have a spot to put up your feet
Or put the laptop/cellphone you watch the porn on
A true modern-day Diogenes
And then they fucked
“Nothing else in his apartment“? No towel, sock or Kleenex?
Reminds me of a video from /b/ where this prostitute goes "Where is your furniture, where do you fuck?" And then he goes "Everywhere" absurdity ensues, cannot share here due to rules
What do you think the chicken sandwiches are for?
You mean the napkins.
Right?
He swallows each load. Recycling!
What are you hinting at? Not so sure what you mean.
He says (quite clearly) that the reason for the lack of paper products to wick up the semen is because the man drinks his own semen, he goes on further likening this practice to recycling.
I hope I was of assistance.
I miss my first apartment. I had more furniture, but life was simple. At least for a while.
My mistake was to help a friend out by inviting him for a beer after work. He had broken up with his girlfriend and needed a place of his own. I got him into an apartment in my building. Big mistake. The guy just couldn't figure out how to be alone by himself. Every day just as I got home from work and sat down in my lawnchair, he'd ring my doorbell within 5 minutes wanting to hang out. It was alright for a while, but I soon got enough of socializing in all my free time. I'd rather be alone and do creative projects and such.
I told him off several times and explained how I needed personal time for myself, but he'd be back the very next day, not understanding how personal time could possibly take more than a few hours.
For the remaining time I lived there, I'd leave the door open, and just go on about my day whether or not he was around. The serenity was broken anyway.
Yeah, I've also known people who can't handle being on their own at all. It's not obvious if they spread themselves amongst a bunch of different people. I'm the exact opposite, I guess somewhere in the middle is the sweet spot.
I am this guy and I mostly mitigated it by being active in a bunch of different circles. I'm known amongst my friends as the guy that has way too many hobbies. That said when I'm alone I almost invariably play fighting games or narrative driven games (and the occasional rogue lite such as vampire survivors, ball x pit, monster train, slay the spire, etc) . I'm an insomniac and often am up twenty hours a day. I took up dancing 3 nights a week as a way to be social and stay healthy.
Even for a hedonist, that's a sad ass life.
He's not a hedonist, he's depressed. I know how good porn is, but it's not healthy to only have one activity and no people in your life.
load more comments
(6 replies)
Or, perhaps, it's the most relieving kind of life?
He doesn't want for anything. Not a goddamn thing. As long as he has plumbing, electricity, and access to the internet (for porn mostly), he is content.
No envy, no expectation, just bliss that you get to exist, and Jack off to an infinite library of nudes.
Is he some sort of hobo philosopher a la Diogenes, sharing his insights? An ascetic monk, deep in meditation whenever he's not working and wanting for nothing? Idk, it didn't seem that way to me. I'll give you that he leads a very ecological life, but it seems to be more the result of poor financial choices. Maybe he's working this hard to give it all to charity every month, who knows? But I bet that's not what's happening (probably gambles or drinks or smokes his money away), and as such this is just a sad and aimless life.
How is that hedonistic?
Ok, maybe it fulfills your life to just jack off once a day, but how do you think this is hedonistic?
Spiritually I get it. Though I do invite people over to my apartment a lot and have anxiety so I'm a "bare minimum to not get comments about lack of furnishing and decor" kind of minimalist.
I still need a proper TV stand and couch though. And I do get comments for having the big screen tv on the floor and just a bunch of chairs instead of a couch, only two cushioned chairs too. Foam mattress on the floor though with plenty of pillows and blankets. I need a rug too, basic linoleum flooring gets kinda chilly.
Balancing that versus maintaining a healthy bank account is difficult though with the amount I make and the location making my rent kinda steep (I like being able to bar hop via walking)
Keep an eye out for freecycle and craigslist free stuff. That's the kind of stuff that has decent turnover and you often are doing someone a favor by taking it.
Be VERY careful about accepting ANY used furniture. This is a good way to get yourself a bedbug infestation. Bedbugs are insidious and can hide in tiny little cracks in furniture, even if there is no upholstery. If you're going to get used furniture, dust it with diatomaceous earth. Put that shit in every crack you can find. If there is any cloth/upholstery, put a layer on all the cloth. Then when you have the furniture in place, put a circle of diatomaceous earth around each leg of furniture. (Do not put the furniture up against the wall, pull it about a half inch away from the wall.) If bed bugs attempt to emerge and crawl away, they will be dehydrated and die as they walk through the diatomaceous earth. Trust me when I say, you do not want those fuckers in your house. They are incredibly hard to eradicate once there is an infestation.
I have scavenged furniture for years. Furnished houses and apartments and squats and warehouses and busses.
Have never knock on wood had bedbugs.
Learn what they and their eggs look like and inspect the shit you're grabbing first.
Once passed on a really nice couch in a nice neighborhood, because I spotted a half of an ass of one.
The stained old victorian style couch in the winco parking lot was fine though, lol
Eggs visible to the naked eye, but you're looking for something the size of a pinhead. An adult is about the size of an apple seed. Edit - this site has some good pictures of what they look like I am farsighted, so with my vision I'd never spot them even with my glasses on.
load more comments
(1 replies)
So, what were the plans for entertaining the co-worker?
eh, he prolly bought the second lawn chair after he jerked off so hard he broke the first one.
wait he kept the broken one
Hey, you need something to put your feet on
Hah for a while I slept on the floor because I didn't care enough to get a bed. Furniture is mostly for when you want to impress guests, and so if you never have guests... The one exception is my recliner - it's the classic kind with a lever on the side to raise the footrest and it is perhaps the most comfortable thing in the world.
One can enjoy beauty just for... Personal enjoyment as well
I don't think that (for example) my couch and my TV which are never used are adding beauty to my living room. I don't like sitting on a couch and watching TV, but for some reason I imagined that my friends would. Turns out that they don't like that either, so we never do it when we hang out (we don't hang out inside my house in the first place) and that stuff just costs money and takes up space.
If I were buying furniture all over again, I think I would just get a desk, an office chair, a bed (with a little end table), and my recliner. I eat at my desk, so I never use anything else.
load more comments
(1 replies)
I mean film is a family hobby. My dad spent forever building his dream sound system, and I built my "fuck yeah it works" system out of his discards (I have to recognize hardly anyone falls into great sound systems the way I did but by crab god, I'm a musician if I'm going to treat anything it's my ears). I got a decent working 5.1 system of 25 years old cones and tweeters, just spent some money a few years back to buy a severely outdated receiver because the one I had (have technically. still gotta clean it up and take down to the relic shoppe) was made before hdmi and was having difficulty communicating with modern devices over optical audio.
I mean film is a family hobby. My dad spent forever building his dream sound system,
Sounds like my mother. She was a film maker, worked on a lot of big films.
So upset she decided to get rid of 60 years of speakers and gear to the local hifi shop instead of her son (and we were by no means estranged or with some weird broken relationship ie I'm leaching off of her).
Just discovered it was all gone when I spent 3 months watching her die (too late for recriminations when the cancer has adled their brain).
and I built my "fuck yeah it works" system out of his discards (I have to recognize hardly anyone falls into great sound systems the way I did but by crab god, I'm a musician if I'm going to treat anything it's my ears). I got a decent working 5.1 system of 25 years old cones and tweeters,
Yup. Took her speaker shopping and had to watch her grimace cause all I could afford was some shitty Yamaha kit. Thanks Ma. You could have given your son something out of your vast dragons hoard. Maybe the Tanoy studio monitors that you had sitting in the spare room???
just spent some money a few years back to buy a severely outdated receiver because the one I had (have technically. still gotta clean it up and take down to the relic shoppe) was made before hdmi and was having difficulty communicating with modern devices over optical audio.
Got her outdated circa 2000, albeit, $3k Yamaha receiver because she had it as her editing den system (and she passed before she could break the room down).
We had goddam electrostatic speakers, 1 metre wide for godsake. I thought I'd be passing them down to my son and so on. But noooo she had to sell them along with the valve amps and solid state amps she built.
Sigh.
Goddam parents.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Man after my own heart
view more: next ›