this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2026
56 points (98.3% liked)

Not The Onion

19777 readers
1490 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

In a late Friday FCC filing, the company mentions deploying a staggering 'one million satellites' in orbits ranging from 500 kilometers to 2,000km.

all 23 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 2 days ago

No no no stop letting this junkie fuck everything up

[–] solrize@lemmy.ml 21 points 2 days ago

Dyson sphere is supposed to go around the SUN not the Earth. FAIL.

Space junk debris field

[–] FundMECFS@anarchist.nexus 13 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Surely this will never pan out as every other one of Musk’s promises?

I genuinely don’t understand how they believe a data center in space is a good idea.

[–] troed@fedia.io 15 points 2 days ago

... esp. since they'll need to run at extremely low speeds due to the difficulty in cooling them.

I'm starting to think Musk doesn't understand that "space is cold" won't help here.

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Just curious, why wouldn't it be a good idea?

[–] Nomad@infosec.pub 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Literally the only thing that works for this idea is solar energy and half the RTT because there is no need to route both up from the earth and back down. You can't maintain that, its hard to cool, its expensive to send up there, radiation not good for computers and on and on.

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Fair enough

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 9 points 2 days ago

"I'm just going to the datacenter to replace a hard drive"

[–] bisby@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

https://youtu.be/d-YcVLq98Ew

Basically there aren't a lot of upsides and plenty of downsides

[–] Sineljora@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

Kessler syndrome

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 days ago

they have been doing it for a while. its probably some stock market scam to make themselves look more valuable.

[–] LordCrom@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Shooting rockets into space now means they have to negotiate a maze of a million satellites along with all the other space junk out there.

We are creating a cage from which we will never leave earth.

[–] cronenthal@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Right next to the one million robotaxis and autonomous robots, I presume.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They can ship em on Tesla semis running through TBC tunnels.

[–] cronenthal@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 day ago

I totally forgot about those! Just let me hop into my new roadster and drive to the hyperloop station to get to the Starship launch-pad in New York.

[–] huppakee@piefed.social 4 points 2 days ago

Some day in the future some space-archeologist will wonder who the fuck left all that junk out there.

[–] skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 day ago

Muskrat is clearly an alien sent to Earth to ensure our doom.

[–] tangeli@piefed.social 2 points 2 days ago

How, when and where will all these satellites come back down?

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 2 points 2 days ago

Maybe a giant one in geosync could work?

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Who wants this again? Why are we polluting the atmosphere even more again?

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

The owner of SpaceX needs income, so it's time to try something new to dupe idiots out of their money.