this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2026
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Raccoons

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A place for raccoons migrating from reddit.

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[–] SillyDude@lemmy.zip 29 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Don't. Raccoons always go for the 3 S's. Your Snacks, your Socks, and your Social Security Number. None are safe. Though cute, raccoons do not recognize the rule of law.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Shit, I thought it was snacks, snitches, and social security numbers.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

i know my tanuki lore. it's snakes, scrotes, and social security numbers.

[–] in_my_honest_opinion@piefed.social 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Oh y'all must not be on the discord, tanuki's are targeting crypto wallet addresses now.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

are they still doing the inflatable scrotes? i got this overly proud statue. kinda like these:

[–] in_my_honest_opinion@piefed.social 1 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Oh absolutely. However, under no circumstances are you to follow the QR codes that are tattooed on them.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

please tell me it at least goes to a respectable secondhand pony auction website

[–] in_my_honest_opinion@piefed.social 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

you won't fool me. i was there when the old goatse was pierced

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

wait that's a QR code? I got it tattooed on my back! they told me it meant Strong Like Dragon

That's why they were following you to the beach! Just keep a shirt on, you'll be ok.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Not a possum, so the sheet cake is safe.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Huge nasty mess that will probably get worse when the wild animal panics, potential flea and other parasite infestation, potential injury to you and/or the animal, rabies...

[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 weeks ago

One that’s out in the daytime is a huge red flag for rabies.

[–] TheOneAndOnly@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Surprise! Rabies. Someone else said it earlier, but it bears repeating.

[–] parricc@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

While there's maybe an 85% chance of that, the other 15% chance really needs to be considered as well. What if it's not rabies and by opening the door, you get to hang out and become best friends forever? Maybe next week, the raccoon will invite you to its den, introduce you to its family, and fix you a nice meal? Maybe some apple-berry-grasshopper salad. Have you ever considered that?

[–] TheOneAndOnly@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Truthfully? No. I have not. I now have things to consider about my life. Excuse me...

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 7 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe she just needs to feed her babies. You're not a heartless baby-killer, are you?

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

You will lose in a epic fight if it is completely wild. If you keep your distance it will just trash your house. Good luck we are all hoping for follow up pictures if you do.

[–] hzl@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago

Someone once had the same thought about letting a dog hang out by a fire. I say do it.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Then you would be amongst the people causing Raccoons to get domesticated

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

She just wants to play some nintendo!

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

Grey scale finger bandit!