Find ways to be anywhere but that environment as much as possible. Volunteer for something, join a club or sports team, or just hang out at the library. Being out of that environment will help you clear your mind. Use that time to start making plans to create your own safe place where you can exist independently. It might take time to get there, depending on the resources available to you, but small steps over time add up.
this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2026
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Malicious compliance.
Focus on what you can control. Minimize whatever is toxic to you as much as possible. Maximize whatever brings you joy whenever you can get out of whatever environment you're talking about.
Uhhhhhh, this needs more context. This could be anything from being part of the military in a war zone, to being in an abusive relationship, to being stuck in a toxic work environment, to living in the USA, to being in prison, to being tied to railroad tracks by a 1930s cartoon villain. To being tied up and tickled by Mr Tickles from the Mr Men childrens books.
What are we working with here?
OP has posted in the past about Asian American abusive parents and living at home.
The thing I try to do and it help me a bit, try to spread a little good. This world has a lot going on and the media only showing the bad stuff. Go out and try to do one good deed, example include removing snow from a elderly neighbor driveway for them, give money to a homeless person, and if you have the skills to create something for the community need do it.
This is probably bad advice, but Assuming like me there is no way to actual escape venue you can take that won't cause less pain uncertainty than the situation you are in, I treat it like being mentally tortured. So survival is Same as anti tortured techniques. Don't think about future think about surviving another 5 minutes. When its real bad I even go lower like 30 seconds and breathe through it. Think about other stuff like chores, decorating,Learning new skills, shows, etc. Basically anything but your current situation. Realistically you can only keep it up for so long before the cycle restarts but it gets you further. Its a band aid.
I don't think staying sane is the correct response in that situation.
So... time to stay insane?
I actually just realize I probably am so bad at my native language precisely because of the trauma disincentivising me from wanting to learn more... so yeah...
I'm just sectioning off all the emotions and hide it away in a part of my brain called "Cantonese" aka, the trauma language.
English is my escapism language. Where I can forget about everything.
No wonder why 2nd generations just hate their ancestral language...
All that reminds them of is fucking trauma
Keep your life circle as small and simple as possible. What I mean by that is focus on what and who you care about, and do what you can to focus on them.
When I was stationed overseas, our chain of command relaxed a bit. We bonded on a more personal level. We took care of each other and rolled with the punches when there was little we could do about our situation. In a way, life became less complicated because our focus wasn't split between many things.
If you're in the US, I'm sorry that the things I dealt with in the military are now things that you have to consider.
Check on your family. Keep safe as best you can. Check on your neighbors. Have strength in numbers. Plan ahead.
And if you're like me, stop doom scrolling before bed.
If you’re in the US
I mean my other country before this was China... so... 🤷♂️
The universe loves trolling me.
Universe: "Hey, guess what? In this incarnation, you are born into a family that's immigrating to the United States"
Me: "Thanks, universe"
Universe: "Haha, SIKE, you get a racist dictator for president in your new adoptive country. Have Fun! P.S: your family is also toxic."
Have you tried drugs?
Like Antidepressants?
Or like... those that get the DEA knocking?
Drugs will result in me being homeless.
Also literally don't know any Asians that use drugs, I'd probably get so socially ostricised from the entire Asian community since its stigmatized and that'd suck.
Also brain damage... I'm trying to not like have memory issues... psychoactive chemicals and all... don't want even more issues than I already have...
Damn, that definitely sounds like a hostile environment I'd want to get out off!
Idk how.
My parents ARE the cause of my stunted development and I have no clue how to be "independent"
The idea of bugeting and bills just terrify me.
I'm emotionally unable to like be alone because I'm just so used to be with my abusive parents since the beginning of my life
I'm rarely like "by myself" except for like K-12 school
Can't even manage do to college since I was so anxious the entire time I tried...
Literally so depressed and can't even sleep in the college apartments because I couldn't get used to not being with my abusive parents
Wtf is wrong with me
They created this trap where I'm not only financially dependent on them, but also emotionally...
Stockhold syndrome much?
Idk why
I KNOW its abusive, but I CRAVE their approval so much
what the fuck is wrong with me
I feel so sad if they reject me
I really wanna kill myself idk why
I never even had a true friend
It's scary at first to do everything for yourself, but it becomes less scary over time, as you get used to it. Stay focused on your goal of one day not needing them anymore, and don't give up.
The fact that you recognize these things is great in and of itself. But to move forward, you might need to force yourself. Start slowly. Take a walk by yourself. Go sightseeing. Visit a museum. Join an animal rescue, or any club you're interested in. I know, it's fucking hard. I'm going through something similar myself. But you owe it to yourself to save yourself, because no one is going to do it for you.
I'm assuming you've tried to make it better, you've asked for help and it failed, you tried everything, etc.
You can reframe the situation in your mind. Hostile boss? Poor guy is lashing out because he knows he's incompetent and he doesn't know what else to do. Hostile family? They have no happiness and they don't know how to cope, so they treat you and others poorly.
Hostile country? No fuckin idea. I'm still working on that one myself.
"don't get mad, get even"
I mean... I'm trying to not be in prison if possible lol
There was a time during my teenage years where my parents had basically imprisoned me in the house for no fucking reason.
I was going to a private Christian school, and I had fallen a little behind in my studies. Normally, an adult would say, you have to catch up this year, or else bad things will happen.
Instead my parents threw away everything I owned except for five pairs of clothes and made me do hard manual labor picking up rocks and carrying them around the yard and digging up tree stumps with a dull pickaxe for a year and change until I graduated as the valedictorian of my high school a year ahead of the rest of my grade.
There were times when I would look at the pickaxe in my hand and remember that I was 15 years old and that if I took that pickaxe in a fit of rage and drove it through my stepdad's skull and murdered him with the strength that I had gained from lifting, 90-150 pound boulders and carrying them all over half acres at a go, that I would be out of prison and have a sealed record and a normal life by the time I was 21.
The only thing that got me through that was the knowledge that once I had graduated, that was the end of it, and I would never have to deal with that shit again, and even though I still have issues about it, I did make it through, somehow, some way.
You don't. That's the basic function of insanity.