Remember kids, arson is illegal unless it's disguised as a very stupid mistake.
this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2026
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Yup.
Yes, your honor. I have two towels I use to season my cast iron.
You leave these oily rags next to your stove?
Yes, where else would I put them? Its a convenient spot.
Do you wash them?
Why? They'll just get oily again.
Those are my oil rags. They'd for oil.
Lighting can cause fires. Electric shorts can cause fires.
Edit: That was supposed to be "lightning." But lighting can also cause fires, so I guess it isn't that bad of a typo.
Brb lemme go change
I'll write that down for when I'm talking to the insurance agent.
Wbere do they sell these shorts you speak of? Got any 34W?
What if the flood caused the fire?
Iv seen more then one house that burned down due to flooding.
The house next to my uncle's when I was a kid did that. The entire first flood was flood something like 7 or 8 feet of water, but due to the water it caused the gas lines to fuck up which started a fire that climbed up the inside of the walls and lit the second floor on fire.
So the first floor was underwater, the inside of the walls and the second floor was on fire.
And the basement became a new pool!
The worse part was a bunch of the trees lit up and managed to catch the house behind it on fire as well.
Sometimes shit really does just suck.
So, which insurance would be appropriate here?
It most likely did, electricity doesn't like water, natural gas lines and appliances don't like the weight of water either, and any non-submerged parts of a house are going to be shockingly flammable.
They'll probably say "the flood ruined your foundation which would have wrecked your house anyway, so you're not covered." or some shit like that.
My risks that aren't covered aren't your problem!
There was some significant flooding in my area several years ago and a lakeside house a few miles from my hometown ended up being lifted off it's foundation and carried into the lake. The owners, even though they lived next to a lake, did not have flood insurance. So the house sat there for a long while until it "mysteriously" burned down. It was interesting to me that it was left there as long as it was because this was a pretty nice area with a bunch of nice/expensive houses.
I sometimes think back about the time my neighbor's house caught fire and my friends and I broke the door open and tried to call out for occupants, nobody seemed to be home so we pushed their car away from the outside propane tank and saved it from igniting.
A few months later they had a brand-new home but still had their old car. It was just funny they were all out of the house when it happened, and weren't even using their own vehicle. I bet they hated us.
Better break out the thermite
God said, “Fuck that family in particular.”