Itt: everyone doing everything except using the right pronouns
this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2026
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i use my language's equivalent of bro and dude for woman too sometimes.
Hey their lady mcfemale girl gal
🥰
This is why I just use "friend" to refer to everyone.
All genders inclusive, respectful, friendly. Don't have to try and figure anything out.
"Hey, friend",
"Pardon, friend",
"Thanks, friend",
Simple
Mellon!
Is "Pal" also gender inclusive? I got this weird feeling that a pal is more of a little boy than a girl?
Degendering is also a form of misgendering
Under the condition that the person has told you their gender (or the pronouns they want you to use for them): yes, then i am agreeing with you
But if you don't know a person: The gender is not always lining up with their apperance or the appearance can be (sometimes purposely) ambiguous
Absolutely agree. Unfortunately, too many people bend that second part into willful ignorance, refusing to ask, "forgetting", or it just becoming the default for anybody not known to be cis, even if their gender is wildly obvious.
I used to have a friend that worked in HR who would always call me them and they, even though I'd told him numerous times my pronouns are she/her, and he would always defensively come back that since he worked in HR it's just how he operates, and then refused to ever refer to me as she or her.
It's dehumanizing and transphobic and we see right through the bullshit. It's super obvious and you aren't being clever.
People: if you don't know, just ask. If you refuse or neglect to ask and keep doing this after more than just the first meeting somebody, you're very likely a piece of shit. Don't lean on this. Too many people here are defensively leaning on this.
this is giving: "if you're not also a mind-reader, you're transphobic"....
I ain't your bro son.
I don't have many trans people in my life and I always stumbled over my words when I found myself in a position where I had to address them in the third person.
My most awkward memory is a conversation with my friend where I addressed her as "my wee lass".
Anyway, we're married now and expecting our third Calico.
Three? That's a lot of personality in one place.
It's unfortunate so many terms of endearment are gendered. Habibi/habibti, ése, khouia, fra
The aussies really had it right when they decided to call everyone cunt
I was thinking about this recently and I feel like maybe people use gendered terms of endearment is because they're gender affirming. The gendered aspect is not a side effect. Affirming someone's gender is a nice thing to do and feels nice to have it done to you and our language reflects this.
The obvious corollary is that it is the addressee that gets to decide what terms of endearment are gender affirming for them, not the person addressing them. There are too many people that insist they're being gender neutral when they say "dude" because their associations with the word are not gendered, but what they should be doing is bothering to ask what the person they're talking to would find affirming and using that.
The term you use is for the person you're addressing not for you, and you should want them to feel good about it. If someone tells you they don't like being called dude because they find it gendered, you should fucking stop calling them dude.
If someone tells you they don't like being called dude because they find it gendered, you should fucking stop calling them dude.
Forget gender, if someone doesn't like being called something, don't call them that. It's one of those cases where respecting trans people is the same action as basic human decency.
I hate to break it to you about whether "cunt" is gendered or not...
don't be a terf, everyone can be a cunt, and everyone can have a cunt, even men.
make sure you celebrate all the cunts in your life
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Ignoring for a moment that men can have vaginas and whatnot, the origin of the word is from the sex bits, but the word itself isn't gendered. Same way you can say "she's a dick".
On second thought, it gets a little murky because that word is in some places used specifically to demean women, but that's not Australia's fault. It would be great if we all just agreed to end misogyny to fix that issue.
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A few of these remind me of their usage in customer support, and boy I hate them already before getting into the actual transmeme.
"Dude" has become as gender neutral in my spaces as "queen" has.
Same. I mean, dude is regionally gender neutral where I live so it's less about my spaces
Someone said "yes, king" to me once and I didn't like it, mostly because I'm uncomfortable thinking of myself as royalty :/
But yas Queen I'm immune to bc of Rupaul.
No kings for you then, comrade?
"Lady", but I say it like Moe Sizlack talking to the Listen Lady.
That's why you gotta hit em with the "homie", "home slice", "big dawg", "amigo", "boss", or "friendo".
Do I gotta kiss em on the lips? I'm not prepared for this level of homeslicing. I'm in too deep please advise.
Yes, but tongue is optional, as is tradition.
i know homies kiss homies, but homies nibbling on homies necks has me worried about vampires and i'm like almost out of toum. i got like, maybe half a gallon left? that's not enough.
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