this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2026
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Trans Memes
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It's unfortunate so many terms of endearment are gendered. Habibi/habibti, ése, khouia, fra
The aussies really had it right when they decided to call everyone cunt
I was thinking about this recently and I feel like maybe people use gendered terms of endearment is because they're gender affirming. The gendered aspect is not a side effect. Affirming someone's gender is a nice thing to do and feels nice to have it done to you and our language reflects this.
The obvious corollary is that it is the addressee that gets to decide what terms of endearment are gender affirming for them, not the person addressing them. There are too many people that insist they're being gender neutral when they say "dude" because their associations with the word are not gendered, but what they should be doing is bothering to ask what the person they're talking to would find affirming and using that.
The term you use is for the person you're addressing not for you, and you should want them to feel good about it. If someone tells you they don't like being called dude because they find it gendered, you should fucking stop calling them dude.
Forget gender, if someone doesn't like being called something, don't call them that. It's one of those cases where respecting trans people is the same action as basic human decency.
I hate to break it to you about whether "cunt" is gendered or not...
don't be a terf, everyone can be a cunt, and everyone can have a cunt, even men.
make sure you celebrate all the cunts in your life
Genuine question, is this the same law that allows one to call anyone a dick?
no idea, but feel free to call anyone a dick, even me. go ahead
I try not be a terf. "Cunt" has been a gendered slur regardless of the meaning. You can call anyone a cunt, but it has been used in history to demean women in particular, and not all women have cunts.
my answer was more of a shitpost. "cunt" is more of a gendered slur in the US, in the UK and especially in Australia everyone can be a Cunt. although it'll likely started as a gendered slur
As an Australian, the cunt thing is an internet meme, it's absolutely gendered and normal people do not use it.
question, if someone were to hit your car with a their door in the parking lot, and you said "what a cunt" would people judge you as a misogynist or like someone who just got a dent in their car?
I think that is the crux of the issue,
That would depend at least in part on whether it was intentional. I would not judge anyone that way over an accidental door hit. If you called a woman a cunt then I would assume you are at least somewhat misogynist. Men sometimes refer to their friends as cunt, but only male friends, this is exclusively an insult for women and we are never spoken to this way in a friendly or joking manner
Ignoring for a moment that men can have vaginas and whatnot, the origin of the word is from the sex bits, but the word itself isn't gendered. Same way you can say "she's a dick".
On second thought, it gets a little murky because that word is in some places used specifically to demean women, but that's not Australia's fault. It would be great if we all just agreed to end misogyny to fix that issue.
Nobody uses dudette anymore, is dude now ungendered?
I grew up in and adjacent to surf world. Nobody used dudette back then. It was always just dude.
So it was never gendered?
not here, no
I think the tides may be turning, then. As evidenced by this meme.
dudette was a bit niche, no one really used it.
Exactly! Women can be a chill ass dude fr.
stay safe dude.
Thanks, dude. 🤙
Imo, dude has always been ungendered. I call everyone dude, though I do try to use other terms when talking with my mtf homies until they know that.
Same and same, dude. But my perception isn't all that exists, and some women don't like being called dude. Just applying the logic of the dichotomies on display already.
What about bro-cunt... would this be a negating neutral term if endearment?
Bruhnt.
Yeah but don't they have mate/sheila as gendered terms?
They also put sprinkles on buttered white bread and call it a pastry. Nobody's perfect.
okay but I'm poor enough that actually sounds pretty good and achievable
I think it's called Fairy Toast?
It's called fairy bread and it's delicious.
Heyy, I can agree with nobody's perfect. I mean, I just saw a Lemmy user implying an English-speaking nation doesn't have gendered terms!
(And I was a little too snarky about it. I apologize.)
oi mate