Hail Satan
this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2026
250 points (93.7% liked)
Microblog Memes
11557 readers
1716 users here now
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
RULES:
- Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
- Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
- You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
- Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
- Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If an image is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
- Absolutely no NSFL content.
- Be nice. Don't take anything personally. Take political debates to the appropriate communities. Take personal disagreements & arguments to private messages.
- No advertising, brand promotion, or guerrilla marketing.
RELATED COMMUNITIES:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Hail, Satan! Hail, Satan and all the devils of hell!
Hail, Astaroth. Hail, Asmodeus. Hail, Yokshodoth. Hail, the wicked kings of the ninth circle! Piss into the eyes of the infant Christ!
I love it
Amen🤟
I always found the shepherd metaphor questionable, on account of the reason you keep sheep is to eat them
I think it's highly appropriate, as sheep are fleeced.
So's your mother
Also wool and milk, but ultimately, yeah.
What part didn't make sense? Upon your death your soul is released. You see Jesus. You float towards him. You are eaten.
The reason we have the ten commandments is that sin makes the soul taste gamey.
A lot of Jesus' teachings are higly questionable, and are impossible to apply unless you're a part of a travelling cult. Mainstream Christianity only pays lip service to his moral framework and is more commited to maintaining power and prestige for its priest caste.
11 - So Paul stayed in Corinth for a year and a half, teaching them the word of God.
NIV, for those wondering what usually came next.
12 - And Billy-bob-joe-ray said "dang woke lib shit. Fake news God!" and put on his Make Bethlehem Great Again hat.
Semen
How has Jesus got a paraffin lamp?
he's from the olden days
A man.
A plan. A canal. Panama!
Cause of course no Christian ever suffered anything, for they were under His protection, mmh? Maybe He was a bit distracted...
No, you don't understand, he was just testing them. Totally a prank, bro.
I've encountered a few internet anti-christians who scoff when told to look at the context, but this is one of those times where the Christians should look at the context, too. Acts 18:9-11
9 One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: “Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. 10 For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city.” 11 So Paul stayed in Corinth for a year and a half, teaching them the word of God.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+18&version=NIV
God told Paul, specifically and individually, "you keep on speaking in this city where there are a lot of christians", and Paul did, and wasn't harmed. Extrapolating this to all Christians everywhere is... Really, really bad theology. (Especially considering how Paul died... )
Nema
Cthulhu fhtagn!
rAmen
mena
Tacos
Mutton on the menu. I swear to God that Jesus would so love the rich stew I could put together. He could perhaps maybe lay down a Bible verse heaping praise upon the slow simmered decadence of what goes through a Shepherd’s mind when utilizing one of the babies into something so life affirming and delicious as a red wine braised & slow roasted lamb to warm the soul during these frigid winter spells.
Jesus want to be careful he might get deported.